a place for my thoughts

home is where the heart is...

2010-09-05T23:06:00.002+08:00

hmm...i'm back home...on my bed...with my radio blasted at 11.30pm...

being away for so long for the first time realli made me realize how thankful i am...i have a great family, great friends and a great life...n i do believe that everything happens for a reason...to think on how i am here in the present...with all the life, love, education and companions...i realli do feel amazed on how much i've blessed by GOD...

hmm...i'm gonna have 2 weeks here at home...i realli do wanna make full use of the 2 weeks...but i realize i can't...cause...eventually...i'll be having my assessment right after the break...this kinda sucks...sigh...

neway...being in a medical life is rather interesting...n a lil scary...u see ppl studying EVERYDAY...haha...tat realli makes me miss my previous care free life...when i could lie around...watch some tele...go yumcha with my peeps...my current life...almost 75% of my daily routine when i'm awake is to sit at a table n stare at the book...n u can always feel an overwhelming aura of hardworking ppl around u...so...whenever u even try slacking...you'll feel like you getting LAZY...n it's not fun to feel lazy...

tat's all for now...nitez...

awesome-ness

2010-07-03T00:50:00.003+08:00

haha...TGV IPOH finally got the 3D stuff organized...so...i went for the movie today...

and....

TOY STORY 3 WAS TERRIFIC, GREAT AND AWESOME!!!!

seriously...it was nice...the plot is realli interesting...it keeps u wondering what is gonna happen next...very "gan cheong" (pronounce that in canto)...n the graphics is just so beautiful and flawless...in this movie...Andy looks handsome...n there's this little girl, Bonnie...so CUTE...moreover...like any other Disney Pixar movies...there's always a touching moment...n in this movie...there were 3 times...haha...so...guess wat?? haha...i sobbed 3 times...yes...i noe...it sounds realli realli pathetic...but i can't help it...if anything touches my heart...i'll juz melt...

neway...all in all...Toy Story 3 is an enjoyable movie...a must watch movie...oh ya...i dun think u shud watch 3D...cause...eventually...thr weren't much 3D effects in the movie...so i think 2D is good enuf...

hmmm...i'll be leaving tomorrow d...i don't even noe whether i am prepared for this next phase...neway...i have to be prepared...time stops for noone...it's either u choose to flow with time or get left behind...

k la...tat's all...nitez/morning...

darn...

2010-06-27T00:17:00.005+08:00

TGV IPOH'S MANAGEMENT SUCKS...real bad...

yes...it does it SUCK...WHY??? i'll tell u y...i have been trying to get the toy story 3 tickets since monday...

monday :
i went there n ask for saturday tickets...n they tell me that the schedule is onli until wednesday...it's realli weird...cause usually...u can even get tickets 5 days before the date...nvm...i tot it was normal...so...i let it be...

tuesday :
i went thr for karate kid...n asked bout the tickets again...ONCE AGAIN...they told me that the schedule is onli until wednesday...nvm...i told myself tat i'll come back on thursday...

thursday :
i called up n ask for the screenings on saturday's toy story 3...they tell me...schedule STILL NOT OUT...i ask them y...they say the management is arranging something...nvm...i waited to ask on friday...

friday :
i called again n ask...n ANOTHER DARN FREAKING time...

operator : Sorry, miss...we don't know the schedule for Friday's Toy Story 3 screenings on saturday...the management wants to have 3D...so...they are arranging something...
me : When can I possibly know the time??
operator : I realli don't know. I think it'll only be out tomorrow.

nvm...i told myself...at least IPOH FINALLY HAS 3D...i'll get the tickets first thing in the morning...

saturday :
i checked the newspaper...n it was stated that the were 5 2D n 3 3D screenings for Toy Story 3...so...i DROVE all the way thr...n guess wat??? GUESS WAT?!?

tgv worker: Sorry, miss...there are no 3D movies today...we are only screening 2D
me : It was written in the newspaper that thr are 3D screenings today...n y are there onli 2 screenings for 2D?
tgv worker : Our screenings are subject to changes...and our management is still not ready with the 3D
me : You have a REALLI LOUSY management
tgv worker : u wanna see my manager?

eventually...i'm not bothered to talk to the manager...so...i tahan...n walked away...n thought of how to solve the solution...

a few minutes later
me : may i noe the screenings for toy story 3 for tomorrow?
tgv worker : we dun have the schedule for tomorrow's Toy Story 3 screening
me : not even 2D??
tgv worker : no...management is still arranging something...
me : *darn pissed*...*speechless*...*walks away*

seriously..TGV Ipoh management...if u ppl realli wanna plan sumthing like 3D...pls..dude...i realli meant PLEASE!! plan sumthing ahead of time...dun suddenly last minute plan some crappy stuff like this...n can't even produce a schedule for 2d screenings a day ahead...I REALLI HATE PPL WHO DO LAST MINUTE PLANNING...n if u are NOT CAPABLE of handling something so BIG...PLEASE...juz stick with wat u can do...if u realli wanna do it...PLEASE...use ur BRAINS and think fast...u could have thought bout it before it started screening...like ppl always say "dun dig a shit hole onli when u wanna shit, if not it'll be one big crappy shit"...now...not onli are u INEFFICIENT, LOUSY, CRAPPY AND HORRIBLE...ur management SUCKS and it's SH*TY...i am 1 very unsatisfied customer...together with my 7 other cousins...so...once again...

DARN YOU, MANAGEMENT OF TGV IPOH...

UR MANAGEMENT STINKS...like crap...

sorry...i'm just venting my frustrations...excuse my different usage of words...

puppies!!!

2010-06-23T21:44:00.004+08:00

my cousins n I saved 2 puppies today...n they are darn cute..

them sleeping in a box...

cute...

still sleeping...hehe...

ain't they the cutest little things...haha....

jj also has his weird pictures...

cheese!!!

the next step of life....

2010-06-22T21:40:00.003+08:00

my next phase of life has been laid out...n thankfully...it is the path i long desired...

so, in 2 weeks time...i will be leaving my comfort zone to step into a whole new world...a world rather strange n peculiar to me...a world filled with knowledge, information, pressure and new people...a world filled with obstacles...and a world tat i must succeed in to lift my family honour...

sigh...time passes rather fast...i dunno whether should this be a good thing a or bad thing...but anyhow...i can't turn back time...nor can i undo the past...thr are things that i wish i should have done...BUT never will i wish for something to be UNDONE...for everything that happened in my past...led me to who i am now...i am JYBEH!! haha...yea...everything happens for a reason...

tat's all...nth much in mind...

"Death is a part of life, but sometimes.......I just wish it wasn't"

words...

2010-06-14T23:17:00.001+08:00

qualified!!

2010-06-08T15:20:00.003+08:00

haha...i have finished my probationary driving period...i'm no more a P driver...i am finally a QUALIFIED driver on the road...hehehe

neway...babysitting kids now...kla...not much to talk bout....nid to entertain them now...

i wanna sleep like this puppy...feeling lethargic...

...!...

2010-06-02T23:32:00.003+08:00

i have watched....PRINCE OF PERSIA!!!...and it was gooooood...it's ok la...my movie taste is easily satisfied...because as long as thrs action, comedy n a good plot...i'm happy...oh ya...not forgetting a good looking guy on screen...then EVERYONE is happy...haha

my next movie...."The Karate Kid" and "Toy Story 3"...

neway...i'm tired of this everlasting boredom...oh ya...there's news saying that the IPTA results will be out on the 18th of June?? i'm juz crossing my fingers and hoping for the best...

k la...nitez...

"Can we pretend that airplanes
in the night sky
are like shooting stars,
I could really use a wish right now"

phew...

2010-05-29T22:27:00.002+08:00

haven been keen on blogging lately...neway...juz sat for the ielts test today...it was ok...i tink...haha...had to travel all the way down to penang juz for the test tho...

hmm...life have been rather boring these days...besides the fact that i had to study for the ielts...i practically don't have much to do...

oh ya...have been having many dreams these days...n they all involve my friends...i dreamt of friends that i haven been talkin to for a long time...hmm...i miss them...i miss my schooling years...both in mgs n acs...i wish i could juz go back to school...sit in the classes...do some homework...talk crap with my deskmate or my classmate...laugh when thrs a joke...or juz sit around and do nth...i don't understand how someone can hate school...i have always loved going to school...i even went to school when i didn't have to...haha...

time pass...rather fast...i can't believe i've menganggur for so long...haha...it's going to be 6 months plus since the day i stopped studying...i tink my brain is rather rusty...muz start drilling them soon...

neway...i like one of miley cyrus's songs...not "can't be tamed"...tat song is juz weird...it's "when i look at you"...i think it's from the movie "The Last Song"...

oooh ya...i took part in a charity run...n we're on ipoh echo...muahaha...

Rotary Ekiden Run 2010

[ 0 ] May 27, 2010 | ipoh

Best Dressed Team – YES WE CAN

The Rotary Ekiden Run made its debut in Perak at Ipoh Padang recently. The purpose of the event was to raise funds for charities. Mayor, Dato’ Roshidi Hashim, flagged off the race. A total of 500 participants took part in the 5×2km relay run that began at Ipoh Padang to the square at Little India along Jalan Sultan Yussuf and back. Each team consisted of 5 participants and each participant had to run two kilometres making a total of 10km.The race was well received with teams from Japan and Switzerland taking part, including one from Precious Gift Home, Ipoh, who turned up on wheelchairs; their physical disabilities notwithstanding. Rotary Club of Ipoh President, Wu Chee Tatt was delighted with the keen participation shown and mentioned this in his opening address. Attention stealer was the best dressed team named, “Yes, We Can”. They ran wearing formal clothing carrying placards with positive messages plastered on their backs. Champion was the KRI Club team who finished the race in the fastest time

DK

tat's all for today...nitez

goin bananas...

2010-04-11T15:23:00.009+08:00

hmm...the previous month was papaya month...now...it's banana month...haha...thrs this lady that stays near my grandma's house and i think she has a farm in the house...last month, we practically got papayas every week...this month...we're gettin bunches of bananas...

bananas galore...

we even had double bananas....haha...

anyway...brought JJ for a walk the other day...and we met a dog...it was the stray that came to our house last year...but it has a broken leg now...how pitiful...hmm..the stray has been taken in by a neighbour...we kinda named him Hunky...but his current name is Sam...anyhow...he practically followed me throughout the entire walk...and JJ was really happy to have a friend with him...he ran throughout the walk...eventually...Sam got a lil too friendly and followed us into the house...JJ got protective and jealous...haha...he ended up barkin at Sam the entire time...however, he still likes Sam...whenever Sam comes for a visit outside the house...JJ will be poppin his head under the gate to have a look...realli cute pose...but couldn't get a picture...

these are pics of Sam @ Hunky...

(he loves lying down outside our gate)

pics of our JJ!!!

i think this picture looks funny...he looks like the soft toy that was a hit during my schooling years...the one with the huge nose...haha

anyway...tat's all...

i dislike carrots, corn and PEA!! haha...

ouch...

2010-04-03T21:55:00.003+08:00

hmm...i've finally got my virgin ears pierced...haha...n it HURTS...the pain is killing me...it feels as though someone cut my ears off...haha...jokin...it's juz a lil piercing pain on the ear...it still doesn't beat the pain after my operation...or the pain when i set my hand on fire...in attempt to save my beloved bio lab...haha...ain't i dumb? it was an interesting scenario...neway...yes...i FINALLY have earrings on my ears...n it makes me look so darn feminine...i dunno whether is this a good point or a bad point...but anyhow...maybe less ppl will regard me as "leng chai"...haha...

since i'm so bored...i shall tell the few times i've been mistaken as a guy...

take 1
i was wearing my t-shirt and jeans with my sport shoes...n as i was stepping into the ladies toilet...the cleaner lady stopped me from walkin in and said "salah tandas"...and i have to stare at her for a few seconds before she said sorry and realized that i am a GIRL...and finally allowed me to pass...

take 2
i was wearing t-shirt, jeans n sandals...this time at a restaurant...i was juz sitting thr when some lady asked, "leng chai, yum meh eh?" (translation : leng chai, what do u wanna drink?)...she only realized that i am a girl after i placed my order...

take 3
i went for some trip with my mum's students....same type of attire...was helpin my mum around with the luggages...students asked my mum since when she had a son...hmm...eventually, i got used to it...

take 4
went for chee cheong fun...was standing beside the hawker when he called me leng chai...eventually...his wife scolded him...n he said "sorry, leng lui"

hmmm...i kinda got used to it d...so...no biggy...

k la...tat's all...cya...

breathtaking...

2010-03-26T21:00:00.005+08:00

was rather bored...so...i went surfing the internet and found these pictures...i think the sceneries are beautiful....God's creations...no words can realli describe these breathtaking views...

to think bout it, we humans are sometimes so self-absorbed that we forget about the beauties that lie around us...all we see are materials, like concrete buildings, vehicles, technology driven devices and many more....we hardly take any time off to just stare at the sky...or juz look at the nature around us...sometimes...after a heavy rain...staring into the distance just feels so relaxing...cause u'll be able to see the mountains...when the sun sets...stare into the horizon...and watch the change in colours...during the night...stare into the darkness...n u'll see a million stars in the skies...u dun need any money to see a view like that...all u nid is a little time...

neway...enjoy the pictures....

\

beauty lies in the eyes of the beholder...

holy moly...

2010-03-16T16:31:00.002+08:00

hmm...i find this phrase very interesting..."holy moly"...haha

neway...my blog seems to be very discoverable...it that good or bad?? i have no idea...

oh ya...i've received my results weeks ago...but i was lazy to post it...neway...i'll juz say that i'm satisfied with my results...tat's all...haha...everyone is happy...so...i'm happy...happy happy happy...

hmm...went to penang for a wedding dinner...it was ok...but i have to starve for 1 hour and a half before the wedding starts...thanks to malaysian timing...it'll never be punctual...however much u said it will be...but anyhow...it was a great wedding...n a huge family reunion...i love family reunions...it's fun...cause it has lots of ppl...n not forgetting...the food...yum yum...

ya...i'm still stuck with my driving duty...my job is to fetch, drop, drop, then fetch again, then fetch, fetch, fetch....finally...drop, drop, drop...n then...go home...drop dead...ain't my job fun??

haha...oh ya...thanks to eexin...i have been happily collecting mitch albom's books...i've read "For one more day", "5 ppl you'll meet in heaven" n now..."tuesdays with morrie"...all his books are inspirational...nice books...

k la...gtg fetch ppl now...tat's all for now...cya

A : what do you wanna drink today?
B : anything la...

c : whateva...

lesson for the day : don't give such stupid replies anymore...

it's coming....

2010-02-20T23:38:00.005+08:00

yup yup...my knees are trembling and my heart is pounding...STPM results will be out this coming Thursday...25th of February...i dunno whether to panic or calm down...on one hand...i should calm down...because there is nothing i can do now...wateva is done, is done...i have done my best...n i have done everything possible...or at least almost everything...however much i frown...i will not be able to change anything...but on the other hand...i realized that this one piece of paper that i will be receiving on thursday kinda holds the key to my future...n to my dignity...n my family's honour...hmm...don't i sound like Mulan now? but neway...ya...if i could realli nail it flat...my parents will glow with joy...but if i dun...hmmm....i dunno wat will happen next...i have been talkin to HIM...the ALMIGHTY ONE...i noe i can't juz ask for wat i want...so i've asked for what i deserved...so...i'll leave my results in His hands now...

neway...chinese new year has been okee...not much stuff happening around...but thankfully...loads of ang paus...ee xin is back...so i'll have company for a while when all the kiddos are in school...sis left before cny...n i am keeping all her ang paus...hahaha...what great joy...

oh ya...i've got a new addition to my family...his name is JJ...we didn't name him after the deejay...of course not...we named him after the initials JW, JY and JC...so...he's JJ!! he is a male who sheds...n licks a lot...not forgetting his chewing habits...

INTRODUCING....
JJ the beagle pup!!!

ain't he cute?? but he can be quite a pain at times...neway...he has been my companion during the day since the past few weeks...i like him when he's asleep...very guai...

k la...tat's all...

HAPPY CHINESE NEW YEAR!!!

itu kamu....

2010-01-21T09:08:00.003+08:00

it's been so long since i've blogged...neway...a lot of things happened recently...n frankly...this week hasn't been a great week...i hope it ends differently...

yea...being at home is quite boring...when everybody else is busy filling their time with work...it sucks even more...

decisions...ppl always say that decisions are in ur own hands...but i believe that decisions are just disguised orders...orders given by other ppl...that affects ur decision...it can never be ur own choice...it can never be ur own say...cause in every decision you make...u make it in the namesake of keeping everyone else happy...wat is happiness?? to me...it is smiling away to make other ppl happy as u suppress the fact that u are not satisfied...

neway...i like this song...tat's all...cya

two more weeks to go...

2009-11-25T23:17:00.003+08:00

yup...i have just finished my first week of STPM...n it was...ok...i tink...neway...dun realli have much to type or talk...but i'm excited that CHRISTMAS IS NEAR!!!

ya...sometimes i get so cuckoo after studyin...i'll be singin christmas carols at my study table...thankfully...i was home alone...so no one knew i went insane...haha...neway...studyin can realli make ur mind go off at times...i kinda had short term memory loss in the pass few days...thank God the stuff i crammed to my brain din realli go missin...

neway...there's been quite a number of nice new songs...for example :
- 2 is better than 1 by 'Boys Like Girls' with Taylor Swift
- one time by Justin Bieber
- i look to you by Whitney Houston
- live like we're dying by Chris Allen

hmm...after listing them down...it doesn't seem like a big number...but neway...the song are nice...sorry ya...my taste is rather funny...i prefer slow songs...if you were to play some songs from the 70's, 80's, 90's...i would still like them...not all of them...but some of them...i realized that there are many bands during my childhood that went missing...bands like 98 degrees, 911, boyz to men, M2M, savage garden...hmm...

k la...kononnya had nth to say...i ended up typin an essay...or somethin close to an essay...cya...in 2 weeks time...at that time...i'll be FREE!!!

till then...goodbye...

upset and depressed

2009-10-22T21:43:00.003+08:00

my day started off ok but i don't think it will end well...neway...i'm realli tired of everything...can i just leave everything behind and actually find something that i like to do? sometimes i feel like i don't even know what i want in life...i don't even know what are my visions and dreams...i just noe that i have to live up to everyone's expectation and make sure everyone's satisfied...

but am i?

i never dared to dream...cause these dreams are usually not mine...
i never dared to wish...for wishes don't usually come true...
all i do is just to follow the flow...and stick to the status quo...

more than words? nah...

2009-09-21T23:14:00.004+08:00

i'm back from kl...neway...i haven't been touching my books for the past few days...n i have been having dreams bout my trial papers...i can practically see wat i answered on the papers in my dreams...hmm...

neway...i have been catching up on this chinese drama series..."Moonlight Resonance"...i tink...gosh...every episode made me darn emo ni...will be sobbing away at the sofa while my sis laughs her butt off seeing me so emo...

hmm...holidays have been ok so far...watched plenty of cartoons...spongebob, ben 10, tom and jerry, phineas and ferb...n my favourite...OGGY AND THE COCKROACHES....haha...it's violent...a milder version of Happy Three Friends tho...

talking bout happy three friends...my ringtone is the theme song of happy three frens..imagine when someone calls...n the annoying squeaky voice starts singing...hmmm...

k la...tat's all...

2009-09-19T00:50:00.000+08:00

Life is short, Break the rules, Forgive quickly, Kiss slowly, Love truly, Laugh uncontrollably, And never regret anything that made you smile.

the loss of a vestigial organ...

2009-09-18T23:52:00.003+08:00

hmm...had an operation to remove my appendix earlier...making me having one organ less than an ordinary human....neway...feeling better now...oh ya...to my buddies who were concerned bout me...i juz wanna say a big 'THANK YOU'...especially to the whole big gang that came and dropped by at the ward...i'm realli thankful to have you ppl in my life...

neway...was supposed to finish my last paper today...but unfortunately or fortunately...i have no idea which...today was announced as a school holiday...and because of that...my last paper is postponed to the day after the one week holiday...thus...my holiday...ain't much of a holiday after all...darn it...

tat's all...nitez

a tragic incident...

2009-08-01T18:21:00.006+08:00

on the 29th of July 2009, the prefectorial board of SMK ACS Ipoh lost one of the good prefects...he was involved in a road accident....a tragic accident that took his life away...nobody expected it to happen...nobody expected him to leave...we all thought he would pull it through...it all happened too fast...n the sad thing is...he was or is only 17 years old...he did not even get a chance to sit for his SPM paper...we were all juz jokin and playin together days before tat...neway...he was a good guy...a cheerful guy...a 'happy-go-lucky' boy...the loss of him was a loss of a good prefect...a good companion...a good guy...and mostly...we've all lost a good friend...

to tevindiran...

i noe you are up thr looking down on all of us...i could see the amount of pain you had to go thru before leaving us by the scars on ur face...but i could also see the peace you had on ur face when u lied thr...i believe u are now at a better place...a place whr you'll be free of pain...the fact that you left us so soon still left us dumbfounded...but it also made us grew stronger and realize that life is short...ur lost has brought us together...neway...i have always admired how you never spent a day frowning...how you would plant little seeds of joy in our hearts...n how you would juz joke around the school...the space you left behind can never be replaced...take good care of yourself k...we'll miss you...

Tevindiran s/o Subramaniam

You'll always be remembered....
May you rest in peace...

"Yesterday is history, Tomorrow is a mystery, Today is a gift...
that's why it is called the 'PRESENT' "

so...enjoy today for it is God's gift for us, and make the best out of it,
because a day without a smile is a wasted day.

studies....happiness...n lambs??

2009-05-31T15:39:00.005+08:00

haha...once again...after so long...i'm back...neway...holidays have just begun...n i'm kinda dying of boredom d...

exams was ok...got back most of the results d...i think it is ok...but i believe it can be improved...neway...i have been reflecting on a few questions after exams...hmm...firstly...how important is education in one's life?? i have always prioritized my studies...till i forget to see the things happening around me...there were so many things that i could have appreciated more in the past...looking back..i realized that my life was kinda pathetic...i was usually depressed bout my results...then after steppin into f6...i started lookin around at the ppl around me...i realize how some of my frens can still smile and laugh their heads off eventhough they failed their paper...i can't imagine wat wud happen to me if i ever failed my paper...it made me realized...in life...happiness does not onli revolve around gettin good results...there are other stuff in life can actually make u smile...n to think bout it...not all successful ppl are educated...u dun nid a hundred n one degree to be successful...all u nid is juz faith, hope and the strength to pick urself up after every fall...i'm not saying that studies are unimportant...but sometimes...thr is more to life than a string of As...hmmm....i can't believe i'm saying this....haha

ok...the next question i reflected on...who are the happiest ppl on earth? the richest? the most successful? i kinda discussed it with my frens...haha...yea...one said that happiness is not measurable...it depends on how each individual thinks bout happiness...it also depends on how one wants to be happy...u can be in the deepest pile of crappy problems but still smile your way thru it...or u can be in the biggest pile of wealth but still feel miserable about life...hmmm...it's all self induced...but eventually...we came to this random conclusion that children are sometimes the happiest ppl on earth...they hardly have anything to worry about...one minute, they might be mad at u for something...n the next minute...they will be stickin to u for company...they don't even noe wat an A is about...

neway...talkin bout kids...haha...my cousin bro is darn cute...he was singin 'mary had a little lamb'...n the funny thing is...he onli noes one line...so he sings the whole song with tat one particular phrase...after singin,

cousin bro : wat is a lamb?
me : a sheep
cousin bro : wat is a sheep?
me : urm...a goat
cousin bro : wat is a goat?
me : ah...*doin the mengembek sound* u noe not?
cousin bro : oooh....cow ah??
me : hmmm...no...cow's cousin...
cousin bro : aaah...horse??
me : nono...horse's fren...
cousin bro : ok...now i noe wat a lamb is...

so...does he noe wat a lamb is?? i guess not...haha

neway...tat's all...

"Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take,
but by the moments that take our breath away..."

it's done....

2009-04-19T00:09:00.004+08:00

canteen day is finally over...n it was quite a success...not forgettin how we look awesome in our new red t-shirt...hehe...neway...my whole body is achin thanks to canteen day...but anyhow...it was worth it...things went on quite smoothly...

the front

the back

neway....heard this song by neyo....the song is nice...the lyrics are interesting...but the music video is betta...u shud realli watch it...

MAD

She's starin' at me
I'm sittin' wonderin' what she's thinkin'
Nobody's talkin' 'cause talkin' just turns into screamin'
And now it's I'm yellin' over her, she yellin' over me
All that that means is neither of us is listening

And what's even worse?
That we don't even remember why we're fighting
So both of us are mad for

Nothing, fighting for
Nothin', crying for
Nothing, whoa
But we won't let it go for

Nothing, no not for
Nothing, this should be
Nothing to a love like what we got

Oh baby, I know so tops it gonna rain
But baby, can we make up now?
'Cause I can't sleep through the pain
Can't sleep through the pain

Girl, I don't wanna go to bed mad at you
And I don't want you to go to bed mad at me
No, I don't wanna go to bed mad at you
And I don't want you to go to bed mad at me
Oh no no no

And it gets me upset
Girl when you're constantly accusing
Askin' questions like you already know
We're fighting this war
Baby when both of us are losing
This ain't the way that love is supposed to go

Whoa, what happened to workin' it out?
We've fall into this place
Where you ain't backin' down and I ain't backin' down
So what the hell do we do now?
It's all for

Nothing, fighting for
Nothing, crying for
Nothing, whoa
But we won't let it go for

Nothing, no not for
Nothing, this should be
Nothing to a love like what we got

Oh baby, I know sometimes it's gonna rain
But baby, can we make up now?
'Cause I can't sleep through the pain
Can't sleep through the pain

Girl, I don't wanna go to bed mad at you
And I don't want you to go to bed mad at me
No, I don't wanna go to bed mad at you
And I don't want you to go to bed mad at m
Oh no no no

Oh, baby this love ain't gonna be perfect
Perfect, perfect, oh oh
And just how good it's gonna be
We can fuss and we can fight
Long as everything's all right between us
Before we go to sleep
Baby, we're gonna be happy, oh

Baby, I know sometimes it's gonna rain
But baby, can we make up now?
'Cause I can't sleep through the pain
Can't sleep through the pain

Girl, I don't wanna go to bed mad at you
And I don't want you to go to bed mad at me
No, I don't wanna go to bed mad at you
And I don't want you to go to bed mad at me
Oh no no no

you shud realli watch the video...neway...that's all...

H.A.C.K.S

it's not all about the results...it's the climb

2009-04-04T00:01:00.007+08:00

hmm...heard this on the radio....i tink it's a meaningful song...sometimes we keep focusing on the results...we forget to appreciate the lessons we gain on the way...the lessons on life, friendship, trust, perseverance and in a guys school, the lessons on PATIENCE...patience is very vital to survive in a guys school...haha

The Climb - Miley Cyrus
I can almost see it
That dream I'm dreaming but
There's a voice inside my head sayin,
You'll never reach it,
Every step I'm taking,
Every move I make feels
Lost with no direction
My faith is shaking but I
Got to keep trying
Got to keep my head held high

There's always going to be another mountain
I'm always going to want to make it move
Always going to be an uphill battle,
Sometimes I'm gonna to have to lose,
Ain't about how fast I get there,
Ain't about what's waiting on the other side
It's the climb

The struggles I'm facing,
The chances I'm taking
Sometimes might knock me down but
No I'm not breaking I may not know it
But these are the moments that
I'm going to remember most yeah
Just got to keep going
And I, I got to be strong
Just keep pushing on, cause

There's always going to be another mountain
I'm always going to want to make it move
Always going to be an uphill battle,
Sometimes I'm gonna to have to lose,
Ain't about how fast I get there,
Ain't about what's waiting on the other side
It's the climb (yeah)

There's always going to be another mountain
I'm always going to want to make it move
Always going to be an uphill battle,
Sometimes you going to have to lose,
Ain't about how fast I get there,
Ain't about what's waiting on the other side
It's the climb (yeah yeah ea ea)

Keep on moving
Keep climbing
Keep the faith baby
It's all about
It's all about
The climb
Keep the faith
Keep your faith

neway...ticket sales have been ok...n i owe it to my ticket marketing team...bkavitha, sei mun, syn yi, yip lin, amirthan, shaventhan, bkarthik, mun choong, wai hung, nigel, joan, oon keh, sook kuen, carina and mun kean...THANK YOU!!!

hmm...many of unexpected stuff happen this year...the first is the victory of the prefectorial board in the sports day march pass...and 2nd...the school choir team victory...anyhow...the team did a great job...esp our president...Pei Qin!!! Well done! We're goin for the next round...so, wish us luck....

that's all for now...

wat a holiday....

2009-03-21T22:51:00.003+08:00

hmm...it's been so long since my last post...neway...this one week of hols hardly feel like holidays...i din even have much time to laze around the house...but anyhow...at least i could wake up a little later and come online during this hols...

neway...how has life been for me??? hmm...it's bearable...but the fact that i will be sittin for my major exams this year freaks me out...but anyhow...i will pull myself thru...alive...

acs will be producing a play this year...and its "The Phantom of The Opera"...was supposed to be involved in the play...but thank God i didn't...try imaginin...me...on the stage...singin...with thick make up...and frilly dresses....hahaha....even i can't imagine myself in that position...neway...tickets for the play are up for sale d...so, if u are interested...you can actually contact me for the tickets...

neway...i dun have much to say...dunno y...not realli in the mood...k la...shall go continue nerdin...tat's all for today...nitez...

moo...

2009-01-31T00:11:00.003+08:00

heyo...

HAPPY CHINESE '牛' YEAR!!!

hmm...it's been long since i've been online...neway...celebrated cny...and i'm still celebrating cny...the collection of angpaus this year is ok...but not as much as the previous year...but...anyhow...cny is more about family reunions...and this year...i had continuous family reunions...so...i'm rather satisfied...and filled...haha

moving on...went over to my friend's place to start our bug project...and sadly to say...many bug's legs were amputated today thanks to us...haha...they're legs are so insanely fragile...and their heads too...we kinda beheaded a few bugs...haha...but with the help of UHU glue...anything can be placed back together...

hmm...watched quite a lot of movies this year...
i watched AH LONG PTE LTD...it's farny...n hilarious...haha...i love the comedy...i also watched FOLLOW THE LAW....singapore movies are very entertaining indeed...

yeah...i have been watchin a few cartoons too...like KUNGFU PANDA...haha...not bad la...but didn't get to finish the movie...i also watched AVATAR...it was a movie...yeah...it's nice...real nice...but sadly...once again...i didn't get to finish the movie...i know i sound pathetic watching cartoons...but AVATAR is one interesting cartoon series...very interesting indeed...it's an action packed cartoon with loads of comedy...it's GOOD...

hmm...found a good quote...

"Yesterday is history,
Tomorrow is a mystery,
Today is a GIFT,
That is why it is called the 'PRESENT' "

-Master Ooguay from Kungfu Panda-

makes sense, eh??

tat's all...nitez...

i'm back....

2009-01-18T00:51:00.004+08:00

hmmm.....after so long not blogging....i'm finally back...hmm...another schooling year has begun....n things just seem the same...the only difference is the fact that my life depends on this crucial year...this year will also be my last schooling year...haha...so i hope i can make the most out of everything...

let's see....chinese new year is not too far away...i made 'kueh ka pet' , also known as love letters...fried 'nga ku'...bought my new clothes...but i haven't decorated my house...n i believe i will have to start soon...

neway...heard this song by Thriving Ivory...quite interesting...

Angels on the moon

Do you dream , that the world will know your name?
So tell me your name.
(Tell me your name.)
Do you care, about all the little things or anything at all?
(Anything at all.)
I wanna feel, all the chemicals inside I wanna feel.
(I wanna feel.)
I wanna sunburn, just to know that I'm alive...
To know I'm alive.
(To know I'm alive.)

Don't tell me if I'm dying, cause I don't wanna know.
If I can't see the sun, maybe I should go.
Don't wake me cause I'm dreaming, of angels on the moon.
Where everyone you know, never leaves too soon.

Do you believe, in the day that you were born?
Tell me do you believe.
(Do you believe.)
Do you know, that every day's the first of the rest of your life.

Don't tell me if I'm dying, cause I don't wanna know.
If I can't see the sun, maybe I should go.
Don't wake me cause I'm dreaming, of angels on the moon.
Where everyone you know, never leaves too soon.

This is to one last day in the shadows.
And to know a brother's love.
This is to New York City angels.
And the rivers of our blood.
This is to all of us, to all of us.

So don't tell me if I'm dying, cause I don't wanna know.
If I can't see the sun, maybe I should go.
Don't wake me cause I'm dreaming, of angels on the moon.
Where everyone you know, never leaves too soon.

Yeah, you can tell me all your thoughts, about the stars that fill polluted skies.
And show me where you run to, when no one's left to take your side.
But don't tell me where the road ends, cause I just don't wanna know, No I don't wanna know, no.

Don't tell me if I'm dying.
Don't tell me if I'm dying.
Don't tell me if I'm dying.

will update more when i'm free...cya!!

"don't tell me if i'm dying"...

...

2008-12-29T20:48:00.007+08:00

haha....got these phrases and words from a mail i received...quite interesting...read and ponder on the words...

1. I love you not because of who you are, but because of who I am when I am with you.

2. No man or woman is worth your tears, and the one who is, won't make you cry.

3. Just because someone doesn't love you the way you want them to, doesn't mean they don't love you with all they have.

4. A true friend is someone who reaches for your hand and touches your heart.

5. The worst way to miss someone is to be sitting right beside them knowing you can't have them.

6. Never frown, even when you are sad, because you never know who is falling in love with your smile.

7. To the world you may be one person, but to one person you may be the world.

8. Don't waste your time on a man/woman, who isn't willing to waste their time on you.

9. Maybe God wants us to meet a few wrong people before meeting the right one, so that when we finally meet the person, we will know how to be grateful.

10. Don't cry because it is over, smile because it happened.

11. There's always going to be people that hurt you so what you have to do is keep on trusting and just be more careful about who you trust next time around.

12. Make yourself a better person and know who you are before you try and know someone else and expect them to know you.

13. Don't try so hard, the best things come when you least expect them to.

REMEMBER: WHATEVER HAPPENS, HAPPENS FOR A REASON.

yeah...i shall continue with a few more pictures from my thailand trip...haha...these are a few pictures of the taxis available in thailand...haha...taxis there are very very colourful...they have blue, green, pink, yellow, orange, red and purple taxis...so cool...haha...sadly...i could only take a few pictures of these colourful taxis...

sunsets....from the plane...

2008-12-25T23:41:00.004+08:00

for now...i will onli put the pictures of sunset i took from the plane...will update more later...k la...gtg....brain hurting...

MERRY CHRISTMAS!!!!

"TIS THE SEASON TO BE JOLLY!! FA LA LA LA LA LA LA LA LA......"

30 Things To Do In An Elevator ...

2008-12-12T22:35:00.002+08:00

It's kinda lame...but funny...haha...got it from some mail...so...enjoy....

When there's only one other person in the elevator, tap them on the shoulder and then pretend it wasn't you.
Push the buttons and pretend they give you a shock. Smile, and go back for more.
Ask if you can push the buttons for other people, but push the wrong ones.
Call the Psychic Hotline from your cell phone and ask if they know what floor you're on.
Hold the doors open and say you're waiting for your friend. After awhile, let the doors close and say, "Hi Greg. How's your day been?"
Drop a pen and wait until someone reaches to help pick it up, then scream, "That's mine!"
Bring a camera and take pictures of everyone in the elevator.
Move your desk in to the elevator and whenever someone gets on, ask if they have an appointment.
Lay down a Twister mat and ask people if they'd like to play.
Leave a box in the corner, and when someone gets on ask them if they hear something ticking.
Pretend you are a flight attendant and review emergency procedures and exit with the passengers.
Ask, "Did you feel that?"
Stand really close to someone, sniffing them occasionally.
When the doors close, announce to the others, "It's okay. Don't panic, they open up again."
Swat at flies that don't exist.
Tell people that you can see their aura.
Call out, "Group hug!" then enforce it.
Grimace painfully while smacking your forehead and muttering "Shut up, all of you, just shut up!"
Crack open your briefcase or purse, and while peering inside, ask, "Got enough air in there?"
Stand silently and motionless in the corner, facing the wall, without getting off.
Stare at another passenger for a while, then announce in horror, "You're one of THEM!" and back away slowly.
Wear a puppet on your hand and use it to talk to the other passengers.
Listen to the elevator walls with your stethoscope.
Make explosion noises when anyone presses a button.
Grinning, stare at another passenger for a while, and then announce, "I have new socks on."
Draw a little square on the floor with chalk and announce to the other passengers, "This is my personal space."
Offer name tags to all the other passengers. Wear yours upside down.
When the elevator reaches a floor, pretend you're struggling to open the door. And when it opens, by itself, play embarrassed.
Murmur, "Have to pee, have to pee", then say "Oooppps!"
When everything is quiet, ask "Who's cell phone is that?"

another month gone in a blink....

2008-12-12T21:59:00.005+08:00

haha...i din realize it's been so long since my last post...it's already december...n christmas is coming soon...sigh...how time flies...

neway...went to sunway lagoon during the weekends...went with my cousins...eventually...i was the eldest kid thr...so...my duty thr was to babysit them and be their lifeguard...i practically brought them around the water park...the adults didn't want to play because they wanted to stay dry...so i had to drag the kids everywhr i go...yea...i had to babysit 5 kids...3 boys and 2 girl...youngest was 3 years old...eldest, excluding me was 12 years old...it wasn't easy bringin them around...the older ones will wan to play the big slides...the little ones will wan to play the kid's slide...n when the little ones play...i will be so worried that they will drown...so i ended up catching them at the bottom of every slide...the first thing i ask when they reach the bottom was, "are you ok? did water enter ur nose? wanna go again?" n when they wanna go for 2nd rounds...they will drag me along...so...my duty in the theme park was just to babysit them...oh ya...it rained in kl for that entire day...so...we played in the water under the rain...how fun...

yea...painted my house today...painting is not as easy as it looks...i was incharge of the big roller...so...i had to carry the big roller n rolled it on the walls...for the first 30 minutes...it was fun...but as time passes...my arm got tired...so...i slowed down my pace...and after 1 hour...i can hardly feel my arm...it was numb...n because i held the roller so tightly...my hands are covered with 4 blisters...luckily they are tiny blisters...but they still hurt...especially when u have to hold the steering wheel...sob...

hmm...oh ya...i got my new glasses...they are photochromic glasses....they get darker when exposed to sunlight...therefore...they are not cheap...so now...i kinda change my glasses twice a day...i wear the new pair after bathing in the morning...n the old pair when i wanna study or do dirty stuff like painting...yeah..the reason i wear the old one while studyin is because i usually sleep with my glasses on n with my book in my arm...so...i do not wanna damage my new glasses...hahaha...i know that is a very lame reason...

neway...i kinda grounded myself...i realize i have been goin out too often...n i haven been studying much...mum kinda nagged a little...so...i shall be a good girl n stay at home n start cramming my brain with loads of information...but i will still drive around town once a while...haha...

ok...this last part is important...calling out to all MGS IPOH 5 Sc 1 classmates of 2007...yeah...some of us in Ipoh have been dicussing n most of us would like to have a reunion...the prob is...i dunno when most of u ppl are free...so...if you wud like to have a reunion...pls inform me...my phone no is still the same...i might juz set a date and venue and juz see how many can make it...but for now...no confirmations...

tat's all...nitez...

so close...but never too far??

2008-11-24T00:25:00.005+08:00

was watching ENCHANTED on star movies...haha...n once again...i fell for the song...it's a nice song ler...

"SO CLOSE"

You’re in my arms
And all the world is calm
The music playing on for only two
So close together
And when I’m with you
So close to feeling alive

A life goes by
Romantic dreams will stop
So I bid mine goodbye and never knew
So close was waiting, waiting here with you
And now forever I know
All that I wanted to hold you
So close

So close to reaching that famous happy end
Almost believing this was not pretend
And now you’re beside me and look how far we’ve come
So far we are so close

How could I face the faceless days
If I should lose you now?
We’re so close
To reaching that famous happy end
And almost believing this was not pretend
Let’s go on dreaming for we know we are
So close
So close
And still so far

haha....neway....went back to hometown...yea...was sittin there...watching some hokkien karaoke show...nearly died of boredom...i was pratically staring at the chinese words tryin to understand...n surprisingly...i could understand a few here and there...i'm not a hokkien...but grandparents like to watch hokkien shows...so...we have to join them...neway, i ate seafood...haha...yum yum....yea...seafood there is cheap...not that cheap...but cheaper than town...cause it's a fishing village...so...i fed myself...n made myself a step closer in becoming a pig...haha...

oh ya...i saw sumthin very gross...ok...not gross...but juz an eye sore...haha...yea...my dad was driving...and some mat rempits came speeding by...n there was this big guy on the bike...as they were speeding...their clothes were flyin...and this big guy...he's shirt was exceptionally big...due to his humongous waistline...so...the shirt was flying and flapping at full blast...and the gross thing is...his pants were slippin...n i believe his underwear too...so...we could see the valley...so grosssss....nearly puked my entire dinner out...hahaha....

neway...i tested my driving skills in the afternoon...i took my aunt's manual car and started driving...and i actually remembered how to handle a manual gear...i was so worried the engine might just die at the traffic light...haha...but with my skills...i didn't...if it did...tat'll be very embarassing....haha...but auto is definately a lot easier than manual...thank God for the creation of auto gears...

yeah...tat's all...

j mpwf zpv...

Is this me??

2008-11-21T22:54:00.005+08:00

"This is me"

I've always been the kind of girl
That hid my face
So afraid to tell the world
What I've got to say
But I had this dream
Bright inside of me
I'm going to let it show
It's time
To let you know
To let you know

This is the real, this is me
I'm exactly where I'm supposed to be now
Gonna let the light
Shine on me
Now I've found
Who I am
There's no way to hold it in
No more hiding who I want to be
This is me

Do you know what it's like to feel so in the dark
To dream about a life where you're the shining star
Even though it seems
Like it's to far away
I have to believe in myself
It's the only way

This is the real, this is me
I'm exactly where I'm supposed to be now
Gonna let the light
Shine on me
Now I've found
Who I am
There's no way to hold it in
No more hiding who I want to be
This is me

You're the voice I hear inside my head
The reason that I'm singing
I need to find you
I gotta find you
You're the missing piece I need
The song inside of me
I need to find you
I gotta find you

This is the real, this is me
I'm exactly where I'm supposed to be now
Gonna let the light
Shine on me
Now I've found who I am
There's no way to hold it in
No more hiding who I want to be
This is me

You're the missing piece I need
The song inside of me
This is me
You're the voice I hear inside my head
The reason that I'm singing
Now I found who I am
There's no way to hold it in
No more hiding who I want to be
This is me

Hmm...have been listening to this song...the lyrics are interesting...and it made me think...again...all this while...am i even me?? have i found who i am? or am i just a programmed robot? is thr even a voice in my head? whr am i supposed to be?? do i want to do wat i'm doin now? wat is my dream? n wat is my future?? do i realli wan to choose the medical field??

guess wat....i seriously have no answers to those questions...i seriously don't know...darn...life was suppose to be simple...it seemed to be simple...it was believed to be simple...ppl say that life was made simple..it is individuals who made it complicated...but to me...life is complicated...n humans made it more twisted and messed up...and i am like a 5 year old kid...trying to find my way through this complicated life and trying to stay alive...

hmmm...hv been reflecting a lot...what if i die tomorrow....have i realli enjoyed my life in the past 17 years? did i make the best of my life? i wonder...neway...i dunno what lies ahead of me...i realli wanna make the best of my life....but i dunno whether i can do it....i noe it all lies in my hands...but my hands juz dun seem to budge...i am still afraid...afraid of something...something that held me back all this while...

hmmmmm.....

i wan to be a kid again....life wudn't be so complicated...

cookies and cupcakes...

2008-11-19T22:16:00.003+08:00

yeah....these are the pictures of the cookies and biscuits my friends and i baked...they look yummy...rite?? haha...

hmm...might be baking sometime this week...was tempted to bake a cake...neway...have been exercising...haha...yeah...have been swimming...playing badminton...playing ping pong...but eventually...after sweating a bucket full...i was stuffed with food again...so my energy used was wasted...haha....but the good thing is...my badminton skills are a little betta...haha...for someone who never knew how to play badminton until she was 14(or around that age)...my ping pong balls are faster...but have to work on some areas...like pushing...n dad keeps smashin the balls...i dun like it when he smash ping pong balls...you can hardly see the ball....

hmmm...have been listening to some songs on the radio...n i'm getting kiddy's disease...haha...the keep-changin-radio-channel disease...haha...somehow...it does get annoyin when u hear more talkin than songs....so i'll be flicking the channels while i'm driving...from hitz to fly to mix than back to hitz...haha....oh ya....david cook's new song ain't tat nice...

pretty pic...

holidays.....

2008-11-17T23:10:00.002+08:00

yeah....the first monday of the holidays...went and watch bond today...it's ok onli la...so much fight scenes...every scene someone dies...then blast here....shoot there....hit this...bang that...yea...it's FILLED with fighting scenes...

neway...was trying to be a good samaritan yesterday...my family and i was on a mission to save a puppy from the monsoon drain located behind my house...cause it was raining...and we were worried it will get swept away by the rising water...so...with an excited spirit to save the puppy...i jumped into the drain...ok...fine...i din jump into the drain...i climbed into the drain...so...i was walking towards the puppy...and for the first time...i realize how slippery algae can be...i was juz walking on the wet ground...thinkin tat i wun slip cause i wasn't running...but i was wrong...after walkin for 2 metres...i almost slipped...but i succeded to stay on my feet due to my good balancing skills...haha...

so...i cautiously continued my mission to save the puppy...this time...taking smaller steps and a slower speed...but once again...the algae defeated me...i was dancing on algae tryin to maintain my balance...but at the end...i slipped...and landed on my butt...it hurts bad...and my whole shirt and pants were covered with green algae...and pathetically...my clothes were white...my dad and my sis were giving me sound effects from afar when i fell silently...they scream as tho they felt my pain...haha...neway...as i continued walking...the puppy started running away...so...at the end...my mission was a failure...sob...so i had to climb out of the big drain...and in the process of climbing out...i got myself scratched by some boulder...it hurts...sob...so now...thrs a plaster on my knee...pity me...haha

yeah...tat's all...mission 911 was a failure...haha

the last few days of school...

2008-11-13T21:27:00.002+08:00

yeah...tomorrow will be my last day in lower 6...next year will be a tough year...n life will not be so fun anymore...how i hope lower 6 was longer...hmmm....these few months in lower 6 had been fun...there will always be something to laugh about everyday...and the guys will alwiz have their lame ways to make u laugh...eventually...and surprisingly...i never had so much fun in school before...haha...pathetic me...

neway...last few days in school will usually be filled with games and leisure time...but sadly for us...in lower 6...we have classes till the last day of school...and not forgetting...the homework that comes along...while everybody else is playing UNO...we are sittin in class trying to absorb all the facts and equations taught...n thankfully...the facts actually get into the brain...

yea...the upcoming holiday won't be a holiday...will have to start bucking up on my studies...finish my assignments...go to school for duties and practices...and finish all my homework...and i'll have to catch bugs for my bio project...and preserve leaves...hmmm...not forgettin my tuitions...there goes my holidays...

neway...movies i wanna watch...

in the cinemas...
1. 007
2. chihuahua
3. madagascar
4. bolt!!

on HBO
1. TRANSFORMERS!!!
2. game plan
3. nanny diaries (i dunno whether it's right...but it's sumthin like tat)

i just hope i can watch some of the movies listed above...hmmm

k la...tat's all for now...

truths in life...

2008-11-09T00:14:00.003+08:00

yeah...i got this from the odyssey 2008...n i find them interesting...

a sad thing in life is when you meet someone who means a lot to you, only to find out in the end that it was never meant to be and you just have to let it go...

the best kind of friend is the kind that you can sit on a porch to swing with, never say a word and then walk away like it was the best conversation that you've ever had...

it's true that we don't know what we've got until we lost it, but it's also true that we don't know what we've been missing until it arrives...

it takes only a minute to have a crush on someone, an hour to like someone, and a day to love someone BUT it takes a lifetime to forget someone...

don't go for looks; they can deceive. Don't go for wealth; even that fades away. Go for someone who makes you smile because it takes only a smile to make a dark day seem bright.

always put yourself in someone else's shoes. If you feel that it hurts you, it probably hurts them too.

love begins with a smile, grows with a kiss and ends with a tear. When you were born, you were crying and everyone was smiling. Life your life so that when you die, you're the only one smiling while everyone around you is crying.

neway...i dunno why i've been feelin so stressed up lately...sigh...

oooh ya...guess wat was i spotted in my neighbourhood...i spotted a HORNBILL bird...haha...it was a hornbill...can you believe that we actually have hornbills flyin around my housing area...haha... my sister and i got kinda excited when we saw the bird...wanted to take a picture...but by the time i took my phone out...the bird flew away...saddening...

hmmm...we had interesting experiments this week...for bio...we did preservation of bugs...yup...big bugs and small bugs...let me roughly tell you the procedure of insect preservation...

for big insects...you have to first kill it with chloroform...then...we have to dissect the insect...yup...dissect an insect...hmm...we have to remove all the stuff in it's abdomen...and the stuff we removed ain't so pretty...there'll be this long thing that looks like an intestine...some other guey stuff...some eggs...some sac...n many other unidentified organs...we have to dig everything out to ensure the bug doesn't rot...yup...once the abdomen is empty...we soaked the bug in formalin...and then dry it a little...since the abdomen is empty...we replaced the contents in the abdomen with cotton...to give shape to that insect...yeah...then...we juz place it in the oven...and tada.....a preserved insect!!

for smaller insects...it's simple...just soak it in formalin and then place it in the oven...and you're done...yeah...tat's all bout insects preservation...

njttjo zpv...

sick...yet again...

2008-11-02T23:59:00.002+08:00

sigh...i'm down with flu again...maybe i'm just too exhausted after the workshop on saturday...neway...talkin bout the workshop...it was ok...everything went on fine...but my leg hurt so badly cause i was in my black shoes the whole day...even my arm muscles hurt...cause i took this big bag of rubbish to the rubbish bin...it was heavy...realli heavy...so now my arms are like jelly...

neway...had the same nightmare again...sigh...i dunno why i seem to be dreaming the same scenario...but this time...it's a higher level...and the sad thing is i always wake up sobbing...i have to realli find the core to all my nightmares...somehow i have different nightmares...some nightmares only happen when i am having fever...some once a month...some when i am tensed up...there is this one nightmare that i dreamt since i was a kid...the same place...the same strangers...the same scenario...n this particular nightmare only comes when i am having fever...weird...

yeah...i'm having strands of white hair...gosh...i'm gettin older...or maybe i'm just getting wiser...haha...

neway...tat's all for now...sigh...kiddy will onli be back in 2 days...have to tahan 2 more days...

innocent lifes...

2008-10-29T23:18:00.006+08:00

yeah...i was checkin thru my mail...and i came across this one mail...it's a petition passed around to collect 5000 names...it's a poem...and here it is...

I went to a party,
And remembered what you said.
You told me not to drink,
Mom, so I had a sprite instead.

I felt proud of myself,
The way you said I would,
that I didn't drink and drive,
though some friends said I should.

I made a healthy choice,
And your advice to me was right.
The party finally ended,
and the kids drove out of sight.

I got into my car,
Sure to get home in one piece.
I never knew what was coming,
Mom, something I expected least.

Now I'm lying on the pavement,
And I hear the policeman say,
the kid that caused this wreck was drunk,
Mom, his voice seems far away.

My own blood's all around me,
As I try hard not to cry.
I can hear the paramedic say,
this girl is going to die.

I'm sure the guy had no idea,
While he was flying high.
Because he chose to drink and drive,
now I would have to die.

So why do people do it, Mom
Knowing that it ruins lives?
And now the pain is cutting me,
like a hundred stabbing knives.

Tell sister not to be afraid, Mom
Tell daddy to be brave.
And when I go to heaven,
put ' Mommy's Girl' on my grave.

Someone should have taught him,
That it's wrong to drink and drive.
Maybe if his parents had,
I'd still be alive.

My breath is getting shorter,
Mom I'm getting really scared
These are my final moments,
and I'm so unprepared.

I wish that you could hold me Mom,
As I lie here and die.
I wish that I could say, 'I love you,Mom!'
So I love you and good-bye.

neway...as i read through the poem...tears starting welling up...life is somehow unfair...the innocent ppl have to face the consequences of those who sinned or those who can only think about themselves...

somehow it reminded me of the dead body i saw in the mortuary...it was an old lady...she went marketing...she was banged by a car...but the stupid driver just left her to die...so it was a 'hit and run' accident...i saw her expression...the terrified expression...she died just like that...and the sad thing is that she wasn't havin any identity with her...so none of her family members knew that she was gone...none of her loved ones were aware that she died...

i stood there staring...looking at her...her life must have flashed before her...i just prayed...hoping that her family members can be located...neway...she died just like that...thanks to some stupid driver who was irresponsible to own up to his/her mistakes...some pathetic driver who is not bothered of other road users...some self-centred driver who only cared bout saving his own life...some ignorant driver who does not want to obey the speed limit or the rules...

neway...may that lady rest in peace...i know that she had found a betta place...cause she's in God's hands now...and for that driver...he will pay the price for what he/she had done...

May God bless those innocent lifes that had ascended to heaven...amen...

baking...

2008-10-27T15:41:00.002+08:00

yeah...was bakin on saturday...baked cookies...for some fund raising thing

neway...pei qin, jenny and joan came over to my house to bake...we tried out 2 recipes...the first was from some kh book...the 2nd was from some recipe book...neway...yeah...because we din noe how to bake...so the outcome wasn't very satisfyin...the first batch of cookies came out burnt...haha...the 2nd batch came out ok...the 3rd batch came out tasteless...so overall...onli the 2nd batch was ok...and presentable...yeah...eventually...baking is not easy...not easy at all...at the end of the day...all 5 of us, including my younger sis were dead tired...oh ya...baking can actually build muscles...haha...u have to cream the butter and sugar...and also fold the flour in...dunno la...we were practically experimenting the recipe...but thankfully...the food was edible...haha

first batch...

2nd batch...

yeah...kiddy will be goin to hong kong on wed...for a week...sigh...so far away...neway...kiddy, have fun in hong kong k!! dun get lost ah...haha...take care...n take more pictures to show me when you are back...remember to enjoy disneyland to the max!!! haha...

k la...tat's all...oh ya...

Happy Deepavali!!!

speechless...

2008-10-20T22:04:00.002+08:00

yeah...was havin dinner today...then i saw this big belly lady...din bother to look at the face...so...i predicted that the lady was pregnant...after finishin my meal...i juz took a glance at this lady with a big belly....and somehow...i got a shock...you muz be guessin tat i'm shock maybe because the stomach is juz fat...but no....the belly is real...she is pregnant...the fact that shocked me was her looks...if i'm not wrong...she is onli a TEENAGER around 15 to 17 years old...and she is PREGNANT...yup...PREGNANT....the moment i saw the girl...i glanced at my mum and my mum gave the same shocked look...

sigh...teenagers these days...they dun bother much bout education...they can even get pregnant at such a young age...all they care is love and attention from their boyfriend...wat disgust me more is the fact that their parents dun bother bout the fact that their kids are pregnant and becomin a mother at the age of 15....

at the age of 15, i was running around school carryin out errands and doin crazy stuff...i was dyin of stomach and muscle cramp instead of labour pain...gosh...at that age...i hardly knew boys...hmmm...ain't i an innocent and naive child?? at least i was kept far far away from social ills...hehe...i deserve a pat on my head...for being such a good girl...haha...

yeah...my sister gave me a very lame comment last night...i was studyin my pengajian am before sleepin...n i switched off the radio...then she was mumblin...she was askin y i study so much...then she ended up with one very interesting sentence...she said...."you are such a nerd..." gosh...like i haven heard tat enough in school...haha...neway...eventually...i silenced her n made her sleep....hahaha....evil mua

hmmm...it's juz half a day after the last paper...n i dunno wat to do...i was realli tempted to take my bio books and continue reading...but that'll realli prove my sister's words tat i am a nerd...so...i shall find something elso to do...

neway...one week of exam stress caused my acne to pop all over the forehead....aargh...have to go have an ops acne...

talkin bout ops acne...the school had this ops rambut...yeah...we went to every class and pulled out guys with long hair...then we had immediate action...hehehe...the discipline master cut their hair on that day itself...it was the biggest record...we caught about 160 ppl...but the miserable thing was we had to babysit them and make sure that nobody runs away....but eventually...a few ran out of school...so...the whole team of guy prefects together with mun teng, the mummy of unit 1 went running after the guys...so much drama...so fun ler...yeah...days in acs is never boring...you'll definately see somethin different each day...a new experience

yeah...tat's all for now

sleep deprived....

2008-10-17T22:48:00.002+08:00

yeah...was havin my final year exams...have been sleeping late and wakin up in the middle of the night...realli sleep deprived...i still have one more paper tho...but...i shall literally let my hair down...haha...i say literally because my hair is practically let down everyday...cause it's SHORT...neway...i'll get back to business tomorrow...

hmmm...this whole week was ........ undescribable...the papers...the intense moments...the mind boggling questions...haha...i dunno...my mind was realli boggled...neway...after every soul destructive paper...there'll alwiz be sumthin that brings my soul back...haha...for this week...it was ice-cream gathering...haha...yeah...the whole big group of prefects will go to the canteen just to eat.... ICE-CREAM!!! hehe....we look pathetic tho...but it's fun...we'll start pouring out jokes...then we'll laugh till our stomach cramps...then...we'll all go home...

neway...went joggin today...haven been doin any physical activities for a very long time...so...after joggin quarter round in polo ground...i was out of breath...haha...lembik me...yeah...i jogged alone...cause mum played badminton with my sis n cousins...when i finished my jog...i joined them...then i saw this little boy tryin to join in...so...eventually...i ended up playin with tat little boy who i din know at all...he's 5 i tink...so small...n he keep serving the ball upwards instead of frontwards...so...it falls 50 cm in front of him...he also simply hit the ball in every direction...so...i have to run...n pick up balls...wat 'great' exercise...

after joggin...was dinner...n guessed wat i ate...i ate KFC...yeah...after burning a few calories in an hour...i gain them back in 15 minutes...so...i never noe the use of exercisin...but nvm...at least i tried...haha....

neway...gtg now...will update more later...*yawn*

Little Wonders...

2008-09-27T23:56:00.005+08:00

watched Meet the Robinsons today...it was a nice movie...yeah...the song was also nice...deep meaning...

"Little Wonders"

Let it go
Let it roll right off your shoulder
Don't you know
The hardest part is over
Let it in
Let your clarity define you
In the end
You will only just remember how it feels

Our lives are made
In these small hours
These little wonders
These twists and turns of fate
Time falls away,
But these small hours
These small hours
Still remain

Let it slide
Let your troubles fall behind you
Let it shine,
Till you feel it all around you
And I don't mind
If it's me you need to turn to
We'll get by
It's the heart that really matters in the end

Our lives are made
In these small hours
These little wonders
These twists and turns of fate
Time falls away
But these small hours
These small hours
Still remain

All of my regret
Will wash away somehow
But I cannot forget
the way I feel right now

In these small hours
These little wonders
These twists and turns of fate
Yeah, these twisted turns of fate
Time falls away
Yeah, but these small hours,
These small hours
Still remain

Yeah, oh they still remain
These little wonders
All these twists and turns of fate
Time falls away
But these small hours
These little wonders
Still remain

dreams...

2008-09-27T23:13:00.003+08:00

hmm...have been dreamin on a lot of weird stuff...

1st dream - talking animals

yeah...i dreamt bout a talking dog...don't ask me why i dreamt bout it...but i juz did...haha...it was a stray dog...i dreamt tat i picked it up...it was a brown dog...dunno what breed...neway...as i picked it up, i started talkin to the dog...n the dog eventually talked back...haha...yeah...it talked...the dog actually told me his whole life...how he was abandoned and how he ended up at the streets...yeah...after that, i woke up d...

2nd dream - dead body

ok...this dream was a little scary...yeah...i dreamt that i played candles in grandma's house...then suddenly, we found a dead body outside the house...it was a dead kid...quite small ni...n the body was blue d...yeah..i can't remember how the kid looked like...neway...yeah...dead body...we were eventually trying to get rid of the body..so...we put it in a black plastic bag...then...the next day came...the mbi workers were collecting rubbish...n they found the body...they suspect that we murdered the kid...but we said we did nth...we found the kid in that condition d...then.........i woke up d....haha....

3rd dream - spirits...

yeah...another scary dream...once again...i was playin candles...hahaha...i wonder wat's with candles and dreams...neway...let me get back to the story...yeah...i was playin...then...the heavy gate suddenly juz pushed open...it's not the automatic gate ler...it was the old ones...n it was like somebody pushed it open...but thr was nobody at the gate...neway...after it was opened, it was closed back...n it was latched...haha...yeah...everything moved by itself...then ah...some newspaper startin to walk around...haha...yeah...then...once again..i woke up...

yup...those are my dreams...my weird dreams...haha...

neway...i have been hurtin a lot of ppl these days...i dunno y...i never meant to hurt anybody...sigh...juz wanna say sorry...sorry for everything...

j mpwf zpv ljeez...j bmxbzt xjmm...

cameron highlands and it's greeneries...

2008-09-15T22:14:00.008+08:00

Veggies...

Strawberries...

Flowers...pretty pretty flowers...

Fruits/Veggies...

yeah...tat's all...somehow...i dunno y it looks a little blur...muz be my phone...or my photography skills...haha...

childish games....

2008-09-13T21:29:00.005+08:00

haha...i've been playing a lot of weird stuff lately...for example...

1. i've been stacking cards into a piramid...i'm actually good at it...haha...we kinda had some competition...i beat them all by a few minutes...haha...

the process of building the pyramid...

one of the finished masterpiece....

MY masterpiece...it looks a more stable eh?..hehe...

2. played uno stacko during BB...haha...yup...we were tat bored...haha...no la...we juz had nth to do...

we were all rather fascinated by the wobbly yet stable structure of the uno stacko...

3. have been playing with candles every day...yup...EVERY day...my little cousins have been forcing me to join them...so...i had to be a kid...but eventually...i was nagging them the whole time...they wasted so many candles...burning candles became so boring...so...i had to create a new game...i made them blow candles...haha...it was fun tho...u shud have seen how they blew...

4. have been flying kites...yup...flying kites...with who??? my cousins again...together with my aunt and also my uncle...haha...we were running around the padang like some sakais to keep the kite flying...but...sadly...the kite 'terjunam' to the ground...tat was thanks to the wind...altho it was also partially thanks to our lousy skills...ok...fine...it was my lousy skill...haha...but it was fun after all...

all these games remind me of my childhood...when we were all innocent little kids...running around...cycling at the padang...almost burning the shoe rack...playing masak-masak...playin doctor...we even played barbie dolls...hahaha...it was fun....now...i hardly play...

things weren't so complicated when we were a kid...we din have to worry bout our future...we din have to worry bout what happens tomorrow...we din have to worry about how we have to finish reading a thick book in a month's time...all we had to do was just to run around and have fun...we din care how we look...we din care wat ppl think...we held each others hands and run around...we giggle to little jokes...we cry when we are sad...we played hide and seek...yup...the old times...when life didn't seem so complicated...when life was just SIMPLE...

...

2008-09-08T00:22:00.004+08:00

hmm...haven been hearing this for some time...but it's a nice song...cause it's another westlife song...haha....

"Swear It Again"

I wanna know
Who ever told you I was letting go
Of the only joy that I have ever known
Girl, they were lying

Just look around
And all of the people that we used to know
Have just given up, they wanna let it go
But we're still trying

So you should know this love we share was never made to die
I'm glad we're on this one way street just you and I
Just you and I

I'm never gonna say goodbye
Cos I never wanna see you cry
I swore to you my love would remain
And I swear it all over again and I
I'm never gonna treat you bad
Cos I never wanna see you sad
I swore to share your joy and your pain
And I swear it all over again

All over again

Some people say
That everything has got its place in time
Even the day must give way to the night
But I'm not buying
Cos in your eyes
I see a love that burns eternally
And if you see how beautiful you are to me
You'll know I'm not lying

Sure there'll be times we wanna say goodbye
But even if we try
There are some things in this life won't be denied
Won't be denied

I'm never gonna say goodbye
Cos I never wanna see you cry
I swore to you my love would remain
And I swear it all over again and I
I'm never gonna treat you bad
Cos I never wanna see you sad
I swore to share your joy and
your pain
And I swear it all over again

The more I know of you is the more I know I love you
And the more that I'm sure I want you forever and ever more
And the more that you love me, the more that I know
Oh that I'm never gonna let you go
Gotta let you know that I

I'm never gonna say goodbye
(I'm never gonna say goodbye)
Cos I never wanna see you cry
(never wanna see you cry)
I swore to you my love would remain
And I swear it all over again and I
(swear it all over again and I)
I'm never gonna treat you bad
(never gonna treat you bad)
Cos I never wanna see you sad
(never wanna see you sad)
I swore to share your joy and your pain
(oh no, oh no)
And I swear it all over again

All over again
All over again
And I swear it all over again

back on my feet....

2008-09-07T23:45:00.003+08:00

haha...yeah...i'm back to normal...wound healing...things have been goin on just fine....

have been goin out with kim for lunch on wednesdays...haha...yeah...get to spend some time with her la...it's fun ler...catch up with her life...she belanja me n i belanja her...haha...n eventually, i became her driver...she realli like to comment on my driving...haihz...but nvm...at least we are alive...haha...neway, thanks kiddy for alwiz being thr...

yeah....results slip is out...was satisfied with my results...hehe...i got first place in class...haha...tat realli made my day ler...but still...i shudn't get too comfortable...i'll have to work even harder to maintain at that spot...i hope i can do it...teachers are realli goin fast...n i haven been revising...sigh...

neway, have been going for family reunions...cousin came back from Singapore...he's cool la...changed a little...but overall...he's still the same...

hmmm...i wanna watch movie ler...but everybody is busy with their own stuff...nvm...i shall wait till a very good movie is out...

k la...nth much to say d...brain shuttin down...

another shattering blow....

2008-08-31T21:51:00.003+08:00

i dunno wat luck i've been facing these few months...first it was the a2 in my results...

next was not having any scholarships...

and now, this...y can't i have at least one of the things i want...i tried...to be myself...to do my best...to aim for it...but it all just slipped away...just like that...i knew it was gonna happen...i prepared myself for the blow...i strengthen my heart...protected my soul...but then...it still cuts thru...it penetrated so deep...it felt like a knife piercing thru ur heart...leaving yet another scar...sigh...now all i can do...is juz to let it heal...again...

neway...my list of things have been completed...but eventually...i realize that ppl never see the good things you do...all they see are the flaws...the little little flaws hidden between each and every word...can't they understand tat i did everything...i sleep at 3 every night...for 2 weeks to finish it...yet...all they can see are the flaws...nvm...i shall live with it...

sigh...k la...nth much to say d...

burnt, paralysed and handicapped...

2008-08-19T01:40:00.006+08:00

yeah...ltc is over...whole body achin...can hardly move around...walkin up and down the stairs is like climbing Bukit Kledang...haha...ok...maybe it's not tat bad...but it hurts...

neway...was doing my newsletter thing...i dunno y i'm taking the burden all to myself and not delegating it...i could make my life easier...a lot more easier...hmmm...maybe it's just me...dun realli have the trust to delegate the work...delegate or dun delegate...i still have to finish that newsletter...

my sister has left back to Moscow...kiddy is in Negeri Sembilan...sigh...everybody is far far away from me...missin them badly...

yeah...most of my frens are back from college for their hols...sadly...my schedule is so packed...can hardly find time to spend with them...and my homework is piling up...haihz...wat a holiday...lonely and busy...

neway...will be going for this literacy program tomorrow...have to tutor little kids...so...i've got to wake up early tomorrow...or is it today...wateva la...

oh ya...i bought myself a new purse for a very reasonable price...will show u ppl another day...

k la...me wanna tidur...still lacking of sleep thanks to LTC...

njttjo zpv...

drained...

2008-08-15T01:05:00.002+08:00

yeah...my energy is seriously drained out of me...have been sleeping at 2 sumthin for the past few days...a hectic hectic week...sigh...stayin back till 5 everyday...plannin the stuff out...skipping lunch...i tink i'll seriously drop dead during LTC....

oh ya, LTC is tomorrow...actually, i'm not even looking forward for it...sigh...saddening...thrs juz so much crap to do...newsletter is also another problem that is making me lose another inch of my mind every minute...

neway, took some time off today and went and watch wall-e with my sisters and cousins...it was a good movie...realli inspiring...makes you see what will happen in the future if humans do not start to conserve mother nature...the storyline is also quite touching...altho it is just 2 robots...and the word capacity is so limited between the robots...but the love story is clear...it shows that behind every metallic exterior, there'll always be a place for love inside...the robots are cute...real cute...will talk more about this later...

feeling realli hungry now ler...sob...yeah...the week ahead will still be another hectic week...after LTC, got to go to Penang cause sis leaving back to Russia d...stayin in Penang for a week...next day, have to go for the literacy program...tutor standard 3 kids...after tat, GBP's LTC...not forgetting the newsletter...d

oh ya, my laugh have been stolen by the guys...sob...they stole my laugh...they stripped my laugh away...now i don't find the originality in my laugh anymore...my trademark has been taken...n it's spreading...they will juz start laughin at my face for no reason...haihz...

yeah...that's all for now...gtg continue my stuff...

my brain hurts...

2008-08-07T21:19:00.002+08:00

juz finished my monthly paper...got back my maths paper...not bad la...but could actually do betta if i was careful enough...haihz...dumb me...

neway...havin a headache...have been studying for the past few days...i thought it'll be fun when test ends...but it's worse...now i'll have to finish and complete all my tasks...i was trying to download some fonts...but eventually...i didn't know how to use them...was trying over and over again...till i was so frustrated...haihz...

my group has been really testing my patience...n my family members ain't making it any easier...i think i'm gonna explode one day...my patience and stress is already compiled up to an unimaginable level...whoever who wants to trigger my anger...you are realli askin for trouble...

i seriously nid an outing...or time out...or anything...to calm myself down...realli feel like screaming at someone...was so close to screaming at my sister's face...but tahan...tahan...and guess wat...the more i tahan...the more my chest hurts...sigh...wateva la...have to survive...

i nid my laughing sessions and theraphies badly...and most of all...i nid a hug...a hug tat i'm deprived of for a long long time...sob...

ok...gtg watch my chinese drama series...

back...

2008-07-20T22:08:00.002+08:00

feelin realli exhausted...my muscles are in pain...can hardly move...neway...latest updates...

1. LTC is postponed...have to plan 5 cheers...n make my sketch more interesting
2. went for social service at some batu gajah spastic home...cleaned the place up...dressed them...clean their waste...not bad after all...
3. went to polo grounds for some debate training...was 'proposed' by some fella juz to say the word f**k...but i din say...
4. was hurt quite badly yesterday...but i'm fine now...
5. mentally depressed again...dunno y...
6. monthly test are comin...
7. have to plan for ping pong farewell...
8. have to plan for student's council's ltc
9. joinin some debate and it's on this coming friday...
10. bought myself a new pencil box...and it's red...

the movies i wud love to watch...
1. wanted
2. get smart
3. kungfu panda
4. hellboy
5. the incredible hulk
6. hancock
7. dark knight
8. wall-e

my head is achin...my muscles are achin...my eyes are aching...and i dun feel like eating...

oh ya...i wanna get myself a new wallet/purse...mine is 'tearing' apart...

neway...interesting song...it's lapuk...but the words are meaningful...and realistic

"Crazy"

Tell me what's wrong with society
When everywhere I look, I see
Young girls dying to be on TV
They won't stop till they've reached their dreams

Diet pills, surgery
Photoshopped pictures in magazines
Telling them how they should be
It doesn't make sense to me

Is everybody going crazy?
Is anybody gonna save me?
Can anybody tell me what's going on?
Tell me what's going on?
If you open your eyes
You'll see that something is wrong

I guess things are not how they used to be
There's no more normal families
Parents act like enemies
Making kids feel like it's World War III

No one cares, no one's there
I guess we're all just too damn busy
And money's our first priority
It doesn't make sense to me

Is everybody going crazy?
Is anybody gonna save me?
Can anybody tell me what's going on?
Tell me what's going on?
If you open your eyes
You'll see that something is wrong

Is everybody going crazy?
Is everybody going crazy?

Tell me what's wrong with society
When everywhere I look I see
Rich guys driving big SUVs
While kids are starving in the streets

No one cares
No one likes to share
I guess life's unfair

Is everybody going crazy?
Is anybody gonna save me?
Can anybody tell me what's going on?
Tell me what's going on?
If you open your eyes
You'll see that something, something is wrong

Is everybody going crazy?
Can anybody tell me what's going on?
Tell me what's going on?
If you open your eyes
You'll see that something is wrong

breathe....

2008-07-12T23:33:00.003+08:00

Wherever You Will Go

So lately, I've been wonderin

Who will be there to take my place

When I'm gone, you'll need love

To light the shadows on your face

If a great wave should fall

It would fall upon us all

And between the sand and stone

Could you make it on your own

[Chorus:]

If I could, then I would

I'll go wherever you will go

Way up high or down low

I'll go wherever you will go

And maybe, I'll find out

The way to make it back someday

To watch you, to guide you

Through the darkest of your days

If a great wave should fall

It would fall upon us all

Well I hope there's someone out there

Who can bring me back to you

[Chorus]

Runaway with my heart
Runaway with my hope

Runaway with my love

I know now, just quite how

My life and love might still go on

In your heart and your mind

I'll stay with you for all of time

[Chorus]

If I could turn back time

I'll go wherever you will go

If I could make you mine

I'll go wherever you will go

mentally, physically and emotionally challenged...

2008-07-04T21:27:00.004+08:00

things haven been goin my way...when i wan to be somebody...eventually i became a nobody...but when i started to feel and be like a somebody...parents said it's better to be a nobody...when i tried to be somebody...everybody made me a nobody because they expect me to be a bigger somebody but as the bigger somebody is comin to me...more somebody are also coming to me...and now...practically i dunno which somebody to be...i wud like to be a big somebody...but at the same time...juz be a nobody at times...

sigh...my tiny little brain seriously can't think anymore...i've been exerting so much pressure...the onli thing i wanna do now is juz to scream my lungs out...things are not quite the same anymore...

fun is no more a part of my life... i can't even find myself time to have fun...mornin is school time...afternoon is tuition time...night is homework time...when is my time???

pressure is building up and life is gettin more and more depressed each day...there's seriously a lot of stuff in my mind that is bringing my spirit down...and my brain will juz have to survive thru this period of time...i nid a miracle...

exhausted...

2008-06-21T22:58:00.002+08:00

i'm realli feelin the tiredness and pressure in f6...have been realli stressing myself a lot...ppl say tat i'm no more like myself...i too feel tat i'm not realli myself...tat's juz too much stuff in mind...i'm worried bout everything...i'm worried tat i joined too much stuff and i'm worried tat i wun be smart enough...i have rather tough competition this year...it realli makes me feel like pullin all my hair...my life has been more miserable since i known my new 'best friend'...it realli kills my mind ler...i'm even stressing myself too much...life is no more the same...

neway...after a long stressful week...i went and smash some balls...haha...yeah...went and play badminton with my f6 frens...guys and girls...got to noe the guys more...they are a cool bunch of ppl...but eventually...they made so much noise...practically the whole shop could hear us laughin and talkin...the lunch ain't cheap too...yeah....carina did some obscene thing...tsk tsk...yeah...she's been rather close to someone lately...and everybody realises it...and i was like the 'lamp post'...haha...mun teng is with her 'sons'...one on her left and one on her right...but eventually...mun teng pays more attention to her elder 'son'...haha...farny...hmmm....sei mun is also havin somethin with someone who sat opposite her...hahaha...i'm so doomed for giving this statements...yeah...the guys made some realli gay actions...

joined ping pong comp tat day...won one round...could have win second round if i wasn't so careless...sigh...nvm...yeah...the next comp i'm joinin is chess...haha...our group's name is check-mates...we're doomed...sure kena checkmate...

tat's all for now...*yawn*

down with flu...

2008-06-12T21:35:00.002+08:00

yeah...i'm currently sick...sob...havin flu...n a little feverish...together with the cough...neway...yeah...school was a little tiring these few days...realized that i'm too naif...i shud probably listen to others...never judge a book by its cover...somehow...i dun realli noe how to judge someone thru first impression...i onli noe their true colours once i get to noe them betta...but it's too late...i shud have learnt my lesson the first time...but eventually...i trust ppl too easily...n see wat i've got myself into...hmmm...lessons of life...

neway...i went to kl the other day...so...i wud like to post some pics up...

here are some from aquaria:

jaws...

some sting ray fish...i tink

corals and fishes...

turtles...

eels...cute little ones..

here are some from the eye of malaysia...(specially posted for ms mun teng)

kl's view

another nice scenery...

the housing areas...

night scenery...

the EYE OF MALAYSIA...

neway...i've got my licence...have been driving around town...so fun...but...it's kinda stressful at times...yeah...u'll get it when u have an adult beside you when you are driving...yeah...i haven realli mastered parking...i realize driving a kancil is actually the easiest...u dun have to worry bout small spaces...somehow...i have this phobia when there are cars driving so fast past my car...i'll alwiz slow down when i see cars driving past me...i have all these visions that i'll bang sumthin...so i'm thankful nth happen till now...i realli salute ppl like mun teng who seriously noes how to drive...when will i reach that level...i wonder..i shall practice more

patiently waitin...

2008-06-06T22:43:00.002+08:00

sigh...my license is not here yet...i was told tat it took onli 2 days but 4 days have passed alreadi...and still...no license...so...no driving yet...

next, kiddy is not back yet...was suppose to be back today...but she'll only be back tomorrow...sigh...i'll have to wait too...

called my elder sis tat day...chatted quite long...she'll buy me souvenirs...yeah...my entire family is waitin for her to come back...so...i'll juz have to wait...

had this dilemma for the past few days...parents was suddenly thinkin whether to send me to a-levels or juz let me stay in f6...if i was to go for a-levels...i'm suppose to leave next week...i seriously have no idea which i want...so...i'll juz go wherever they send me to...eventually...my sis n some ppl think it's betta to stay in f6...so...most probably...i'll be in f6...

neway...tat's all...my stomach is kinda killin me...not feeling so good...havin cold sweat d...sob...cya

a wind of change...

2008-06-04T23:06:00.002+08:00

yeah...quite many stuff happening here...i meant in m'sia...

1st - new ruling
all backseat passengers are required to wear seatbelt when they are in the car...so...as a good citizen...i've been wearing the seatbelt together with my younger sister...it feels rather weird tho...but we still have to get use to it...so...buckle up, ppl

2nd - increase in petrol n diesel price
passed by many petrol stations juz now...they were all filled with cars...there were stretches of cars all around the petrol stations...so, roads are practically jammed...and then i watched some chinese news...yeah...i watch CHINESE news...neway...onli the figures matter to me...yeah...was watchin...n these were the latest price for petrol n diesel

petrol : RM2.70 per litre
diesel : RM2.53 per litre

for diesel i'm not very sure...but...i tink it's somethin like tat la...so, save up on ur petrol...no more driving around for no reason...

yeah...tat's all la...oh ya...my elder sis will be back on the 15th of June...so it's onli a week away...n kiddy is back on fri...so...i'm patiently waitin...

good news...

2008-06-02T20:39:00.003+08:00

hahaha...i PASSED my driving test today...weeeee...i'm gonna be on the road ppl...on the road for real....yeah...watch beh drive...hehe...but i still haven get my license...all i have now is my P stickers...but eventually, mummy says my driving not good...she doesn't trust me...sob sob...

tat's the first good news...the 2nd news is tat i have received my laptop...wee again...my red laptop...yeah...it's MINE...so now i'm typin on my laptop...while watchin tele...ain't this fun...haha...it's ok la...gettin used to it...i'll be bonded with this laptop till i graduate...yup...

moving on...my kiddy is in SUKMA...called her to update me bout the results...yeah...SUKMA is in terengganu...she said it's indoor...at least she wun get sunburn...yeah...hope she's doin well thr...she'll onli be back on friday...so...i've got to wait

neway...tomorrow will be my cousin's b'day...hehe....we bought him a t-shirt and stationaries...at least he'll never complain about not havin enough stationaries...yeah

i went and play badminton that day...haha...met some fella...he's actually in the same school as me...i never knew it until tat day...i actually see him before and i see him almost every week...yet...i couldn't recognize...the first time i met him in school, he looked familiar but i couldn't recall...

yeah...tat's all...

nth much...

2008-05-27T21:30:00.003+08:00

another westlife song...hehe...this song is rather unforgettable...even after so many years...it still soothes the ear...hehe...i dunno whether u ppl remember the song...but i believe most of you do...

Swear It Again

I wanna know
Who ever told you I was letting go
Of the only joy that I have ever known
Girl, they're lying

Just look around
And all of the people that we used to know
Have just given up, they wanna let it go
But we're still trying

So you should know this love we share was never made to die
I'm glad we're on this one way street just you and I
Just you and I

Chorus:
I'm never gonna say goodbye
Cos I never wanna see you cry
I swore to you my love would remain
And I swear it all over again and I
I'm never gonna treat you bad
Cos I never wanna see you sad
I swore to share your joy and your pain
And I swear it all over again

All over again

Some people say
That everything has got its place in time
Even the day must give way to the night
But I'm not buying
Cos in your eyes I see a love that burns eternally
And if you see how beautiful you are to me
You'll know I'm not lying

Sure there'll be times we wanna say goodbye
But even if we try
There are something's in this life won't be denied
Won't be denied

Chorus

The more I know of you is the more I know I love you
And the more that I'm sure I want you forever and ever more
The more that you love me, the more that I know
Oh that I'm never gonna let you go
Gotta let you know that I

Chorus

neway...nth much happen today...nth much that can be posted about...haha...yeah...will be having my last driving lesson tomorrow before my real exam that will take place the following week...so...wish me luck...yeah...eyes are practically startin to droop down d...tryin my best to not fall asleep...hehe...yup...tat's all for the day...

cakes and smiles...

2008-05-26T21:57:00.004+08:00

yeah...i went thru this blog...n every single thing she baked look so scrumptious and tempting...if you wan, you can check out this blog...cookingismypassion.blogspot.com/...n here are some of the cakes i found...it realli caught my attention...if onli i could bake like tat...wait...if onli i can even bake a cake...haha...so...feed your eyes with this heavenly sight...

yup...they are all cakes...for real...i would realli wanna have one of those cakes for my birthday...hehe

neway, movin on...yeah...someone sounds frustrated...n i'm worried for her...she juz dun seem to tell me stuff...so, i'll eventually find out later...so much later...now i'm feelin like a jerk for not being able to be there for her like how she was always there for me...neway, no matter wat, i'll alwiz be here for you...i'll be all ears and i'll offer you my best hugs whenever you need me...smile k...

urm...some quotes and diagnosis from the *cough* *whispers* famous *cough* dr beh...

A smile can brighten the darkest day. ~Author Unknown

psychologist beh says -
juz find a way to smile when you are down n everything will seem to look different(in a good way)...or maybe u can juz contact me...n i'll find all ways available to make you smile again...

It takes seventeen muscles to smile and forty-three to frown. ~Author Unknown

dr beh says -
by smiling, you will use up less energy...therefore, you will be able to save your energy by not frowning and then use it for gym later in the day...this way...u don't have to rest so much...hehe...but this reason is not usable as an excuse...muahahaha...

conclusion: juz smile, my little one...

smile k...like little pocoyo...

or maybe like this little kitten...okee??

luv ya!!

random...

2008-05-24T22:48:00.004+08:00

Westlife's newest song...

Something Right

Never thought that I'd so inspired
Never thought that I'd find the higher truth
I believed that love was overrated
'Till the moment I found you

Now baby I know I don't deserve
The love you give me
But now I understand that

If you want me I must be doing something right
I got nothing left to prove
And it's all because of you
So if you need me
And baby I make you feel alive
I know I must be doing
Doing something right

It's because of you I feel so lifted
I've been looking at my life from higher ground
Never thought I'd be so elated
You're the one that turned it all around

Now baby, I didn't know myself
Until you changed me
And made me understand that

If you want me I must be doing something right
I got nothing left to prove
And it's all because of you
So if you need me
And baby I make you feel alive
I know I must be doing
Doing something right
Oohhh

And baby I know I don't deserve the love you give me
But I don't really care, cause

If you want me I must be doing something right
I got nothing left to prove
And it's all because of you
So if you need me
And baby I make you feel alive
I know I must be doing (I know I must be doing)
Doing something right (Doing something right)

Doing something right
Yeah yeah
Something right

So if you need me
And baby I make you feel alive
I know I must be doing (I know I must be doing)
Must be doing something right
Yeah yeah
Something right

I dunno y...but somehow...i've alwiz liked most of westlife's songs...since the band started till now...i never did get bored of their songs...maybe it's the lyrics or maybe the tunes that mesmerized me...hahaha...

neway...went for pra test...i passed...hehe...sure pass right...i so cekap in driving...hahaha...neway...missed out a few points...so i'll have to improve in those aspects before sittin for my real test...oh ya...i was reading thru the evaluation paper...n there was 2 boxes that caught my attention...yeah...one of the boxes was labelled lulus...n the other was labelled kandas...it's pretty weird tho...i tot they would name it gagal...but instead..it was kandas...it made it sound as tho the car terkandas ke dalam longkang...if they put kandas...y not replace it with babas...so it'll sound like ur car terbabas ke dalam gaung...neway...i've no idea wat i'm talkin about...

the colourful laptops...

movin on...my dad ordered a laptop for me...i tink the model is inspiron 1420...he kept askin me wat colour i wanted...the first colour i picked was yellow...but dad gave the face...so i wanted to choose white...once again the face...then dad gave a statement...he advised not to choose light coloured laptops...the light coloured laptops available was pink, yellow, green and white...so...i narrow the colour choices down...n i'm left with dark blue, black, red and brown...so...my final decision for my laptop was....RED...

haha...yup...it's ruby red...ain't tat strikin...haha...it has webcam, wireless connection, card reader(i tink) n some other stuff la...yeah...so i'm now waitin for it to arrive...but it wun be so fast la...

yup...tat's all i guess...

kjf mpwft zpv...

cross breeding...

2008-05-22T21:43:00.003+08:00

haha...this is wat i do when i'm dead bored...no offence la...but i was rather sleepy n bored during block classes...maybe it's due to the stuffiness of the auditorium...the fans were turning at such a slow speed and there's no air conditioning...was practically fanning myself away...thus...i took up cross breeding...haha...i created 4 species of animals...

1st - fish + chicken = chish
2nd - rabbit + cat = cabbit
3rd - duck + dolphin = dolck
4th - dog + pig = pog

hahaha...yeah...today was another busy day...had another meeting...then rushed for tuition...reached home at 6...din rest at all...n now i'm here...hehehe...neway...teachers' day is tomorrow...hope everything goes accordin to plan...

oh ya...i appealed for matricks...n once again...i was turned down...sob...nvm...i shall try my luck in f6...at least i'm used to the environment d...

tat's all for today...cya...

cool song...

2008-05-21T23:41:00.003+08:00

this is a rather meaningful song...features a lot of malaysian singers...for example...

afdlin shauki, awie, ning baizura, atilia, jaclyn victor, reshmonu, pete teo, jason lo, klg sqwad, altimet, suki, daniel lee, nikki palikat, melina william

Here In My Home

Hold on brother hold on
The road is long. We’re on stony ground
But I’m strong. You ain’t heavy

Oh there’s a misspoken truth that lies
Colors don’t bind, oh no.
What do they know? They speak falsely.

Chorus:
Here in my home
I’ll tell you what its all about
There’s just one hope here in my heart
One Love undivided
That’s what it’s all about
Please won’t you fall in one by one by one [with me]?

Push back sister won’t you push back?
Love won’t wait. Just keep pushing on.
Yes I’m strong. You ain’t heavy.

Oh don’t you worry about that…
What we have the shadows can’t deny
Don’t you know it’s now or never?

Rap:
[Malay: TRANSLATED]
Years of fears and years of tribulation
The heart keeps searching for that endless devotion

[Chinese: TRANSLATED]
Hand in hand we’ll march like blood brothers
I speak for my people hope we’ll find peace forever

[Tamil: TRANSLATED]
May the road ahead quench my thirst for success
May the road behind echo a song of the blessed

[English]
So I will let it be known yes I feel it in my bones
No matter where I roam this is home sweet home
Sing!

- Words & Music by Pete Teo featuring rap by KLG Sqwad &
Altimet. copr Redbag Music 2008. All Rights Reserved -

yup...nice music...

unlucky me...

2008-05-21T22:10:00.006+08:00

sobs...dunno y la...have been rather unlucky these few days...

1st scenario
went to melaka...went to a'famosa water theme park...walked barefooted around the hot sandy ground...came home with 2 big blisters on the soles of my feet

2nd scenario
was comin down the lecture hall stairs...wasn't payin attention...missed one step...sprained my ankle...n now i'm limpin away...

3rd scenario
was doin the teacher's day stuff...carried the box...walked around...n i dropped my name tag somewhr...so...i lost my name tag...n i'm gonna get fined RM2...sob...thr goes my 2 ringgit

neway...thank God i'm still living...haha...i shall not be annoyed n disturbed by my unluckiness...

oh ya...i achieve my goal of makin 120 handmade cards...with the help of 20 girls...yeah...they were all a blessin...don't worry...we shall reward you ppl...juz wanna say THANK YOU for lending a hand and puttin ur heart in for this project...i appreciate ur help very very much...so do the comittee members

ah...how's f6 life??? till now...it's rather fun...workin with a group of guys and a few girls...real fun...seriously guys will alwiz be guys...realli hilarious la...they practically love to create pranks...esp for teachers...but overall...they are better than i expected them to be...i tot they were gonna be hooligans or monkeys...but...like ppl alwiz say..never judge a book by it's cover...

yeah...we had orientation last week...we will having block classes this entire week...and teachers' day is gonna be on fri...will be plannin to go back to mgs...visit some of the teachers n definately my kiddy....haven been seeing her in ages...

overall comment bout f6 : it's not tat bad after all

sleepy...hehe...but no worries...i will stay awake...i hope...

another disappointment...

2008-05-11T15:13:00.002+08:00

once again...i'm disappointed...but eventually...i din realli put much hopes on it...yeah..i'm talkin bout jpa scholarships...i didn't get...i didn't succeed to get...isn't tat saddening...many of them din get too...haihz...tat's life...wat can i say...or shall i say...wat can i possibly do...i'm not lucky or qualified enough...i guess...

so...f6, here i come...n dun worry...i'll be around for a long time...

tuition misunderstandings...

2008-05-10T22:46:00.002+08:00

yup...tuition misunds...hv been goin to tuition at the wrong time n wrong days...

1st scenario - Wednesday
i was supposed to go for chemistry tuition...sumhow...i remembered very clear when i registered, i was told tat the tuition starts at 3pm...so my mum rushed me thr at 2 sumthin...when i reached the tuition centre...the clerk said tat it starts at 5.30pm...at the beginning...i thought tat they have informed me the wrong time...so i took out my phone n checked...n eventually...it was my mistake...so....i buat bodoh n paid my fees...n then...i had to call my mum to turn back n fetch me from the tuition centre...haha...so malu ler

2nd scenario - today
ok...i skipped biology class on tuesday due to a very bad stomach cramp...so i planned to replace it today...from 10.30 am - 12.00pm...as it was stated on the paper my mum received from the tuition centre...so..i went to the tuition centre...took the eerie lift up 4 floors...n ended up in front of the tuition centre...when i reached the centre...the door was closed...n thr was this big paper on the door...n guess wat?? saturday class for biology didn't even exist...saddening eh? so...to confirm...i went n try opening the door...i suceeded to open but couldn't close it back...so i tried slammin the door back...as i was slammin...i heard some lady shoutin...dahla the place so spooky...n i'm all alone...i heard the voice...i was walkin to the lift d...then i saw the door open...so...i went to the door...n guess wat i saw???? haha...i saw a lady...haha...wat did you expect me to see?? neway...tat lady said thrs no saturday class...so...i quickly grabbed my phone n called my dad to turn back n fetch me again...saddening eh??

therefore...

lesson for the day : always call the tuition centre to be sure of the time and day before going all the way thr

chubby...

2008-05-09T22:48:00.003+08:00

sob...tat's wat my sis have been sayin in my face these few days...she said i'm very chubby...sob sob...n i admit tat i'm chubbier d...so...i'll have to lose the chubbiness in f6...sob

neway...today was my last day for my volunteerin work in MGS...yeah...rather saddenin ler...wun be seeing the teachers n surely wun be seeing my little kiddy nemore...sob...things will get a little different d...yeah...i felt so guilty today...coz Pn Murizan actually got me a baju kurung...so 'pai seh' ler...she has been belanja-ing me a lot...n now summore buy baju kurung...make me feel so bad ni for not being able to help her anymore...neway...i gave her a hug before leaving la...it's the least i can give...i also gave my little kiddy a hug...yeah...wun be able to check out n chat with her for quite some time...neway...kiddy had her interview today...for some leadership camp thing...the same camp tat joanna ooi joined last year...yeah...tat camp...yup...kiddy went for interview...i also dunno whether is it a good thing if she gets to go for the camp...it is for a month, i tink...overseas...haiyo...dahla she is havin her crucial exam year...neway...juz hope for the best for her...wateva happens...i'll support her fully...und, kiddy?? juz remember to study hard n get me those A's i want...haha...

neway...i din go for driving nor tuition...i went for a hair cut...haha...i'm feelin rather bald now...the hairdresser keep cuttin my hair ni...now not much hair left...haha...n i look weird...n chubbier...sob...yeah...after haircut...was shoppin time...went n buy my uniform n shoes...hehe...oh ya...i was soaked wet today...due to the heavy rain in thr...so soggy...luckily din fall sick...haha...after shoppin...we went n buy donuts from Big Apple...it's smaller than Dunkin Donuts tho...but it is softer compared to Dunkin Donuts...bought 6 for RM 9.50...not bad la...rather yummy...

neway...tat's all for today...

goodbye...

2008-05-05T22:06:00.004+08:00

yeah...goodbye...oops...dun be mistaken...i'm not leaving home or country...i'm juz sayin goodbye to my leisure time that i've been living in for the past few months...sob sob...the weeks to come will be real hectic...will be havin tuition everyday ler...let me tell you a little about my daily tuitions tat are yet to come...

Sunday : Chemistry (1st place)
Monday : Maths
Tuesday : Biology...for now...it might be replaced by Pengajian Am
Wednesday : Chemistry (1st place)
Thursday : Maths
Friday : Chemistry (2nd place)
Saturday : till now...none...but Bio might shift here....

so...yeah...goodbye to all the times i spent lazing around...sob

neway...checked the JPA website again...it was stated last month tat results for scholarship will be out on the 2nd week of May...but now...it is stated that the results will be out in mid of May...so...i'll have to test my patience n wait...but eventually...to think bout it...what are the chances that i'll get?? hmm...better not put any high hopes on tat...i'll just hope for the best...

yeah...f6 will be startin soon...i've washed my school bag together with my pencil case...n ironically...i forgotten to wash my shoes...yeah...one of the most important asset...i hardly remembered that i actually have a pair of unwashed shoes hidden in the cupboard...haha...till sei mun reminded me bout shoes...neway...for your information...my shoes don't stink...they are aired...n fairly clean...but still i'll have to wash it this week...or it'll never dry on time...

i'm currently hoping for rain...due to the heat wave...haha...

me <3 u

tired eyes...

2008-05-03T15:30:00.002+08:00

these few days haven been great...but...i'm still livin...my eyes are small...n they can barely open...but thankfully...kiddy was there for me...thanks dear...

neway...enuf with the sadness...i've been goin back to school these few days...haha...oh ya, f6 list is out d...i was busy typin the names n ic no for the offer letters...haha...eventually i finished 200 names in a day...haha...fast eh? sometimes it gives me satisfactory to help someone...i dunno...some students think i'm real stupid...they give me glares n start whispering y i would want to come back to school everyday...i could be stayin in bed...lazing around n sleepin till the sun is high in the sky...but instead...i wake up early in the morn to go to the compound i've been wanderin in for the last 11 years...neway, to me...it's fun...to juz go to school n see who nids help....and to see the teachers' smiles when i help lighten their burdens...altho it's a small thing to me...but it might be a big help for them...yeah...another hidden reason y i want to go back to school to help is also because i want to check out on kiddy...see whether she does anythin horny in school...haha...

oh ya...one more thing bout helpin out...u get loads of free food...haha...have been gettin a cup of milo ais everyday with my egg sandwich courtesy of Pn Murizan...felt realli guilty for spending her money...but hte thing is she doesn't allow me to pay...i shall juz repay her kindness one day...ah...talkin bout food...the teachers brought me out for lunch yesterday...the brought me to some 'Ginger Kitchen' in greentown...they are hilarious...we took Pn Rose's car...n when we were in the car...they started fortune tellin...n when we passed by the MB's house..Cik Lai started sayin..."tengok, rumah husbandku" haha...they did a lot of crazy stuff la...yeah..we ate lunch...n then they drop me off at my tuition centre...yeah...they are one bunch of cool teachers...oh ya...ms lai was also plannin her retirement day...she's gonna get my cousin to look for me n send her the OSIM chair she alwiz wanted as a retirement gift...haha...i realli have to start savin now to get tat chair...haha

neway...read the newspapers today...i saw the pic whr ppl of Afghanistan have to buy stale bread to survive...yeah...this is because the price of flour have been increasin...due to the scarce supply...the amount of rice is also gettin less by the day...wat is the world comin to...

yeah...talkin bout the world...read this news bout a man...in Austria

Monday April 28, 2008

Austrians shocked over latest "horror house"

By Sylvia Westall

VIENNA (Reuters) - Austrians expressed shock and horror on Monday after police arrested a 73-year-old man they say imprisoned and abused his daughter in a windowless basement for 24 years and fathered seven children with her.

Police said on Sunday the woman, identified as 42-year-old Elisabeth F, told them her father Josef lured her into the basement of the block where they lived in the town of Amstetten in 1984, and drugged and handcuffed her before imprisoning her.

Three of her children were locked up since birth in the basement of the drab, grey building along with their mother and had never seen sunlight or received any education, police said.

The case unfolded when a 19-year-old girl -- the oldest of the three -- became seriously ill and was hospitalised.

Doctors appealed for the girl's mother, who was believed to have disappeared, to come forward to provide more details about her medical history.

Josef then brought Elisabeth and her remaining two children out of the basement, telling his wife that their "missing" daughter had chosen to return home, police said.

Elisabeth agreed to make a "comprehensive statement" detailing her ordeal to the police after being assured she would have no further contact with her father, who she said abused her from the age of 11.

"This is not a mother abandoning her child which then had to be admitted to hospital in a serious condition," Franz Polzer, head of the criminal investigations unit in the province of Lower Austria, told broadcaster ORF.

"We know that she herself has been kept imprisoned by her own father for 24 years in the basement and furthermore she obviously was also subjected to sexual abuse."

Newspaper headlines called the case the "crime of a monster" and the "worst crime of all times" and stories questioned authorities and residents of Amstetten, 130 km west of Vienna, for failing to notice "the martyrdom in the horror house" under their feet.

SHAME

The case was the more shocking because it was reminiscent of that of Austrian Natascha Kampusch who spent eight years locked up in a windowless cell before escaping in August 2006.

"The community of Amstetten, including its population, should drown in shame. ... Just like in Strasshofen with Mr Priklopil (the man who kidnapped Kampusch). The neighbours are very thoroughly looking away," the Oesterreich newspaper wrote in an editorial.

"Obviously it was more convenient to look away from the neglected house then questioning its fabulous inhabitant of what he was doing behind his walls," it added.

The daily Der Standard wrote: "The whole country must ask itself just what is really, fundamentally going wrong."

Josef's wife Rosemarie had been unaware of what happened to her daughter when she disappeared in 1984 and it was assumed Elisabeth had left voluntarily when her parents received a letter from her saying they should not search for her.

But all the while Elisabeth was being held in what Polzer described as a sophisticated network of chambers with facilities for sleeping, cooking and washing.

Elisabeth gave birth to seven children, one of whom died shortly after being born, police said.

Three of the younger children were brought up by Josef and his wife after they were left at the building where the couple lived. The first child was accompanied by a note from Elisabeth saying she was unable to care for the baby herself.

Three others, including the two eldest aged 18 and 19, and the youngest, aged 5, had been locked up in the basement with their mother since birth.

After Elisabeth and her children emerged, Josef, an electrical engineering technician by training, told investigators how to enter their basement prison through a hidden door operated by secret code, police said.

"There was a shelf with plenty of cans and containers, and behind the shelf was a door made of reinforced concrete, secured electronically and running on steel rails, and only the suspect knew the code," said local official Heinz Lenze.

Authorities were still searching the cellar early on Monday, the Austrian press agency APA reported, adding that some of the rooms were no more than 1.70 metres high.

Rosemarie, as well as Elisabeth and her children, were receiving psychological counselling. DNA samples of all those involved were taken and would be analysed, police said.

what ppl will do these days...it's real saddening...

i drove...

2008-05-01T21:53:00.003+08:00

haha...yeah...i drove yesterday...told tat guy to fetch me from MGS...n this uncle...to my disappointment...he doesn't noe whr is MGS...instead...he went to PGS to wait for me...then i told him to find a school near AIA...he still couldn't see it...so he parked opposite AIA...pathetic rite??

neway, he started driving...n thru out the entire journey...he was driving at 20km/h...imagine how slow was that...i was suppose to start lesson at 12...but he took 30 min to find the school and 15 minutes to drive all the way to station 18...so slow la...n worse...he is a smoker...he was smokin in the car...n he din on the air-con...so, i almost died in tat little kancil...realli no air...i was thinkin to myself...at the rate he smokes...i tink i'm gonna die of lung cancer sooner or later...y am i gonna die??? this is because i am the 2nd hand smoker...n accordin to facts, 2nd hand smokers face a higher risk of gettin lung cancer compared to 1st hand smoker...

ok...as i was sayin...he was driving like a tortoise to station 18...yeah...u might be wonderin y is he bringin me to station 18?? i had no idea...when he started turnin to station 18...i freaked out...n then when he slowly drive to some abandoned buildin site...i was freaked out more...y i freaked out?? u noe y?? i tell you...he din have the kind look on him...he has a little horny look on him...n my mum juz told me to be careful with the driving instructors...n when he brought me to an abandoned buildin site...imagine how i wud feel...i was practically plannin ways to escape if anythin happens...n when i said anything...i meant 'ANYTHING'...u betta not ask me wat is anythin...juz imagine wat is ur impression when some unknown stranger takes u to a secluded place...wat can possibly happen...

BUT, thankfully...i am safe n sound...he din do anything to me...he juz decently tot me all the crap and let me start driving around tat area...then....it was real driving...hehe...i drove to the big road...haha...when i said big...it was big...n he called me to drive on this long stretch of road...it was fun...juz pressin the oil...changin the gear till gear 4...hehe...n luckily no cows run across the road when i saw the 'lembu melintas' sign...imagine me bangin onto a cow...tat would be traumatic...and gruesome...haha...neway...i drove all the way to Batu Gajah and back to my grandma's house...without any accidents or mishaps...*touch wood* haha...i'm alive ler...so is the driving instructor...so...praise the Lord for keepin me alive...haha...

overall : i'm pretty good in driving...haha...

holy me...

2008-04-27T12:12:00.006+08:00

after ages not goin to church...i went to church today...yeah...felt a little akward at first...haven been singin for a long long time...haven been commited to God...yeah...i feel a like a jerk at times...but there are reasons y i dun wanna go to church...i dun realli like the ppl thr...tat's my own opinion la...but overall...i still love God and believe in His powers...i've no idea wat kind of christian i actually am...

neway...i went and watch 'The Forbidden Kingdom' in jusco yesterday with my family...it was a good show ler...the fightin scene was nice...yeah...i have alwiz been a fan of jet li and jackie chan movies...neway...when you have 2 good kung fu actors in the same movie...it'll definately be good...it's actually an english movie...a little chinese words here and there...the main actor is some guy...from sky high...his name is michael angarano...he is ok la...not very cute looking...but still...bearable for the eyes...

jackie chan

jet li

michael angarano...wat a complicated name

neway...have been rottin lately...borin ler...nth to do...life seems to be borin when you have no school...haha...neway...was realli moody this mornin...but thankfully...i have kiddy...yeah...she alwiz have her ways to dig out the joy in me...so now...i'm back to normal...so...thank you once again...you are a blessin in diguise...hehe...

neway...gonna find somethin to do...so...cya...

yawn

2008-04-26T10:51:00.004+08:00

i woke up at 7 sumthin today...followed my parents for jogging...my sister went to school...so...i had the 'only child' experience for a few hours...so...we walked...n walked...n walked...saw many ppl dancing...senamrobik, line dancing and many more la...i was rather suprised tho...to see so many ppl up and awake to exercise on a weekend...you can see people from all age and races dancing together...yeah...ppl from all walks of life...it was a sight to behold...the harmony n unity among us malaysians...i tot it was slowly fading...but eventually...these values still exist among us...

neway...have been listening to hitz fm...instead of my usual mix fm...haha...heard this song from mariah carey's latest album...

"Bye Bye"

This is for my peoples who just lost somebody
Your best friend, your baby, your man, or your lady
Put your hand way up high
We will never say bye (no, no, no)
Mamas, daddies, sisters, brothers, friends and cousins
This is for my peoples who lost their grandmothers
Lift your head to the sky 'cause we will never say bye

As a child there were them times
I didn't get it but you kept me in line
I didn't know why you didn't show up sometimes
It's something more than saying "I miss you"
But when we talked too
All them grown folk things
Separation brings
You never let me know it
You never let it show because
You loved me and obviously
There's so much more left to say
If you were with me today face to face

[Chorus:]
I never knew I could hurt like this
And everyday life goes on like
"I wish I could talk to you for awhile"
"I wish I could find a way try not to cry"
As time goes by
And soon as you reach a better place
Still I'll give the whole world to see your face
And I'm right here next to you
It feels like you gone too soon
The hardest thing to do is say bye bye

(Bye Bye [3x])
Bye bye

And you never got the chance to see how good I've done
And you never got to see me back at number one
I wish that you were here to celebrate together
I wish that we could spend the holidays together

I remember when you used to tuck me in at night
With the Teddy Bear you gave to me that I held so tight
I thought you were so strong
That you can make it through whatever
It's so hard to accept the fact you're gone forever

[Chorus]

(bye bye bye bye bye bye [3x])
Bye bye

This is for my peoples who just lost somebody
Your best friend, your baby, your man, or your lady
Put your hand way up high
We will never say bye (no, no, no)
Mamas, daddies, sisters, brothers, friends and cousins
This is for my peoples who lost their grandfather
Lift your head to the sky 'cause we will never say bye

[Chorus]

this song is more for those who had lost someone special and close...yeah...till now...i haven experience losing anyone close...n i dun want to experience tat feelin anytime soon...i'm glad they are all by my side...

i realized tat i haven been really appreciatin the ppl around me...tat's wat usually happen to us, humans...we dun realize how important and how much someone means to us until tat special someone leaves our lifes...so...appreciate the ppl around us...tell them how much you love them...and how much they mean to you...before it's too late...you'll never noe when will someone leave you...so...all you have is today...and the days to come...

thanks kiddy for everything...

kjf mpwft zpv...bmxja ibwf...o bmxja zjmm....

rottin...

2008-04-23T22:57:00.004+08:00

ello...have been goin back to school everyday...due to boredom that strikes at home...yeah...help out...'misuse' the computers...haha...actually...i'm allowed to...act dumb...listen to gossips...kacau ppl...esp kiddy...hahaha...played more pathetic games...haha...feel like a kid...yeah...when i go home...i'll lay around...n when it's 6pm d...i'm turn on my tele and watch CSI-NY...hahaha...i watched some of the episodes more than twice...but eventually...i dun get bored...haha...then...i watch BEN 10...haha...on cartoon network...the theme song is cute...haha...never realli watch BEN 10 till kiddy introduced to me...haha

neway...watched disney channel after tat...i noe i sound pathetic...watchin all these kid's cartoon at such an age...but...i'm still young...ain't i?? haha...i muz seriously watch as much as i can before my hectic life starts again...hehehe...neway...back to disney channel...i watched this music clip...by Jonas Brothers...the song is nice...in the sense of tune and melody...the lyrics is also rather meaningful...

When You Look Me In The Eyes

If the heart is always searching,
Can you ever find a home?
I've been looking for that someone,
I can't make it on my own.
Dreams can't take the place of loving you,
There's gotta be a million reasons why it's true.

When you look me in the eyes,
And tell me that you love me.
Everything's alright,
When you're right here by my side.
When you look me in the eyes,
I catch a glimpse of heaven.
I find my paradise,
When you look me in the eyes.

How long will I be waiting,
To become a better man?
Gonna tell you that I love you,
In the best way that I can.
I can't take a day without you here,
You're the light that makes my darkness disappear.

When you look me in the eyes,
And tell me that you love me.
Everything's alright,
When you're right here by my side.
When you look me in the eyes,
I catch a glimpse of heaven.
I find my paradise,
When you look me in the eyes.

Every day, I start to realize,
I can reach my tomorrow,
I can hold my head high,
And it's all because you're by my side.

When you look me in the eyes,
And tell me that you love me.
Everything's alright,
When you're right here by my side.
When you look me in the eyes,
I catch a glimpse of heaven.
I find my paradise,

When you look me in the eyes.

And tell me that you love me.
Everything's alright,
When you're right here by my side.
When you look me in the eyes,
I catch a glimpse of heaven.
I find my paradise,
When you look me in the eyes.
Oh

jonas brothers

hehehe...neway...i'll be goin for....STARWALK...hahaha...with my 'superb' stamina...i believe tat...*whispers* i'll juz pengsan half way...*cough* hahaha...neway...no worries...i have my faithful kiddy and loyal sei mun goin with me...so....if anythin happens to me...hehehe...i believe tat my kiddy and sei mun is kind enuf to carry me to the finish line...hahaha...juz jokin...if you ppl had to carry me...i tink we all pengsan together...then we'll have to find a lorry to carry us to the finish line...hehe

kjf mpwft zpv...

2 days in penang...

2008-04-20T21:16:00.008+08:00

haha...i went to penang for 2 days...my dad brought his colleage from US along...so...yeah...we brought him around penang...went to the dam and see water...

the dam...

the trees around the dam...

went to the botanical garden and see monkeys...ate curry fish head for lunch...then...we went to sum batik place...saw how they made batik...

some of the designs...

we checked into our hotel...we stayed at Paradise Sand Hotel...or smth like tat...dun remember the name ler...yeah...rented a suite...the price is rather reasonable tho...

the living room...

haha...went swimmin in the evening...but eventually...it was more of floatin...so many ppl ler...not fun...then...we washed ourselves n went for dinner at The Ship...yeah...i ate fish and chips...so big plate ler...n i wonder y i'm gaining weight...haha...went for a stroll down the road...saw the night market...saw the clothes...then went back to the hotel...n watched House...hehe...eventually...everybody was asleep except me...i fell asleep in front of the tele till 1 am...haha...sorry ya, kiddy...i tertidur...haha...neway...wanted to sleep on the bed...then i realized how much my sister occupied the single bed....so...i slept on the couch...sleep until whole body ache...

my couch for the night...with teddy...

next day...woke up at 7 sumthin...bathed...look at some view out the balcony...

from the balcony:

from the beach:

n went down for buffet breakfast...ate quite a lot...but less than the amount i could gobble up last time...packed our stuff...and travelled down to the Butterfly Farm...haha...saw a lot of butterflies...stupid phrase...haha...go butterfly farm sure see a lot of butterflies wan la...haha...walked around the place...not bad...

pretty pretty buterflies...

after tat..i was whining due to thirst and hunger...so...went out and buy a drink...then my dad saw durians...he bought 1 juz for his fren to eat...but the guy juz tasted a little and threw it away...a pig like mua on the other hand...ate 3...not 3 durians la...juz 3 'ulas'...is it ulas?? i dun remember d...wateva la...yeah...i went to penang to eat durian...geng rite? oh ya...sei mun, the durians were yummy...hahaha

then we go to Gurney Plaza...ate Nando's for lunch...then me n my mum ordered 1/2 a chicken to share...with Hot Peri Peri flavour...haha...when the chicken came...it had a flag on it tat states...

"Hot"

"Gets You In The Mood"
hmmm...doesn't it sound a little...urm...wrong??

the poor piece of chicken tat i salvaged...n left it labelled as hot...
see...i respect the poor chicken by giving it it's dignity...haha

neway...after eatin...we walked a little...bought myself a t-shirt from body glove's cheap sale...it looks sumthin like this...bought it for RM20...hehe...original price is RM69.90 ler...

part of the design...

hehehe...then walked around...went huntin for pressies for my cousins...was supposed to find a present for an april cousin...but we bought for the may cousins instead...bought some squishy toys for them...one of the is the 'tung ku' (mushroom)...so cute...

the cute squishy 'tung ku'

after tat...we went home d...now...i'm havin a little headache...n muscle pain...i dunno y...

tat's all for the day...

tired..

2008-04-18T21:49:00.006+08:00

have been very tired lately...dunno why also...neway...yeah...wat have i done for the past few days...i went for driving on tuesday...haha...but eventually, i drove for onli half an hour...i am still not allowed to drive coz i haven get my L-license...so...durin tat half an hour...i was thought how to handle the steering wheel and how to turn...in the sense of turning right and left...yeah...i also has to learn how to stop the car at the 'BERHENTI' sign...and the thing is...whenever i wanted to continue my journey...my engine will usually die off...thanks to the clutch and oil pedal part...have to realli master tat when my lesson begins...yeah...

on the other days...i practically went to school...helped out...haha...today i had sei mun as assistant...then mun teng joined in as well...i believe they are interested to help out too...hehehe...

then went for chem tuition...keep fallin asleep in the first 1 and a half hour...was practically listening to the sir with eyes closed...whenever i try to strain my eyes...my head will juz start "fishing"(the act where ur head starts to fall without you realizin it and then all of a sudden, you'll juz jerk up realizin tat you were fallin asleep) yeah...i was doin tat in the first hour...even sweets can't help me...luckily noone noticed...i tink the sir saw tho...it was rather noticable from the front...poor me...eventually...i survived the 3 hours...wasn't so sleepy when he started giving us calculation problems to solve...actually...i believe tat 3 hours of continuous tuition kills...i'd rather go for 2 days...usually, my maximum time length for tuition is only 2 hours...n to survive tat 2 hours can also be a pain sumtimes...but wat to do...tuition is tuition..i'll have to survive...

ok now...juz to have some leisure time...

ain't they juz adorable??? haha...k la...not feelin so well...cya

a not so boring weekend...

2008-04-13T21:31:00.005+08:00

woke up n ate my breakfast...then watched 'grease' the movie...haha...mum insisted on buying the dvd for me to watch...so i watched...then we had lunch...din eat much...onli ate bread n egg...coz i had a heavy breakfast...yeah...read my book after lunch...then fell asleep...but eventually...could't sleep so well...the weather was so hot ler...so...i got up...n continued the television marathon...watched half of 'casino royale' followed by 'eight below'...eight below was a rather touchin movie...was practically sobbing on the coach...haha...i noe it sounds pathetic...but i have this weak point...i cry very easily when i see anythin touching tat moved my heart...yeah...

so...if you wanna see me cry...juz get any sad movie...n sit by my side when i'm watchin...you'll realli see me sob...

neway...back to the movie...'eight below'...it's about 8 dogs left alone at the antartic(i think) for 200++ days...yeah...it showed how the dogs work together to find food n how they obeyed the leader...the dogs also stayed by the side of another injured dog...eventually...2 died...by the way...the dogs are huskies...hehe...so cute...

the movie

the husky

random husky pic

after tat, i watched 'over the hedge'...haha...funny...i like the squirrel...named hammy...haha...among all the animals...hammy did the cutest actions...i also liked the 3 baby porcupines...haha...the movie is actually about these animals tryin to get across the hedge to get more food...n they started stealin all the food...eventually...RJ the racoon was just using them to save himself from the bear...

the movie

hammy

porcupines

neway...i went for a movie n lunch with sei mun n kim yesterday...we ate at sushi and watched nim's island...neway...it was rather a waste of money...the storyline is boring n the entire movie revolves around a girl, her father and their island together with a writer...regretted watchin tat...paid rm9 ler...we watched it because we were desperate for a movie...haha...nvm...thrs alwiz another day...

chilled...

2008-04-11T22:14:00.008+08:00

yeah...was rather frustrated yesterday...din wan to update for a while...but eventually...cannot resist the temptation to type a whole page of crap...haha...but this time...i'll try to make it short n simple...

neway, wanna share 1 of my interestin experience...yeah...remember my 36 hours program in the hospital?? yeah...i went for 12 hours ni eventually...haha...neway...it was realli cool...i went at 8 am...started with rounds in wards...walked up the stairs again...yeah...saw all the ppl with their head half bandaged...then i went to the ICU...yeah...not bad la...rather impressed...they hv all the cool gadgets n equipments...the door actually slides open automatically instead of pushin it manually like all the typical doors in the hospital...

ok...movin on to the best part...i was called by my doctor to be at the operation theatre...hehe...i rushed thr...typed the secret code to enter...n got changed to the surgical attire...together with the cap n mask...haha...then it was surgery time...my doctor is a neurosurgeon...so...i got to see neurosurgery...hehe...yup...i saw doctors openin ppl's skull...hehe...the first patient was a lady...who i think is in a coma stage...she din even react when the doctors checked on her...neway...yeah...i watched the operation...how her hair was shaved off...then her skin was cut open n flapped on top of her face...the entire skin on the head was totally coverin her eyes...hehe...yeah...n the best part was when blood starts gushin out like a fountain...wee...n guess wat the doctors to do to stop the bleed?? they juz burn the hole to prevent more blood lost...then they start drillin into the skull...n guess wat?? they dun place back the skull after the operation...haha...they juz pull back the skin n sew...yup...n i saw 2 of those operations...fun eh??

ok...movin on...i have an announcement...

i have PASSED my undang test

so...i can now start the first step of driving...haha...be prepared ppl...i'll be on the road soon...
yeah...i have been goin to school lately...help out in the library...quite fun tho...i like doin all these work...i dunno y...somehow i feel happy helpin ppl...n i get to check on kiddy...haha...

neway...went for a walk around school with ee xin today...yeah...i went n dig stuff...it has been a long time since we chatted...i practically grew up with her...so...we might seem close...we once shared toys...n we once fight for toys...we even sat on swings together...yup...tat was old times...imagine me sharing the swing with her at this age...when i said swing...i meant the kids kind of swing...gosh...it will look so pathetic...n we'll probably get fined for vandalisin public property...n ppl like me don't vandalize stuff...not like sum ppl...i wonder who eh??

it's been a long time since i had fun like this...times when everybody was naive n innocent...haha...times when we were all kids...all we did was play...no worries...no stress...yeah...don't you miss them too??

kjf mpwft zpv. ublf dbsf bi...nvbyyy

stupid blog...

2008-04-10T22:14:00.004+08:00

i typed quite a long post n placed my heart in it...n it all disappeared in a second...d**n you...stupid blog...aargh....dun wan type d...happened so many times...realli d**n it

more hectic...

2008-04-05T14:59:00.005+08:00

gosh...i have just received a phone call from khazanah...yeah...i applied a scholarship there...i applied for actuarial science...n the interview will be held on the 9th of april(wed)...in the afternoon...in kl...so... i wud have to travel...

the thing is...i'll be goin for this 36 hours program in the hospital...this program is to train us for housemanship when we finished our 7 years of studies...n this program is held on the 8th of april(tues)...it starts at 8am on tues and ends on 5pm on wed...so..i cud onli go for 24 hours...i'm feelin so bad for ditchin hasvaany for the next 12 hours...

n the next thing is...i have to take my undang test the next day...i haven studied a thing...i believe i have to start studyin today...

neway, back to updates...

2nd april - preparation for the jpa interview
not much...just read...read...research...asked...read summore...brainstormed topics...yeah

3rd april - preparation and tuition
again, brainstormed more topics...read...n asked another fren...then, i went for my chem tui later in the afternoon...was supposed to go to mr chin's tuition...but, classes haven start yet...so, i joined sei mun n mun teng...went to mr chua's chem tui at omega tuition centre...n i've never seen a tuition centre like tat...y did i say so???

1st - i have to give my passport pictures => for student id
2nd - i have to fill in all my particulars...including my parents name n occupation
3rd - i have to sign a paper sayin that i will obey all their rules...
4th - i paid rm68 (rm40 for one month and rm 28 for registration and the books that i'll receive the entire year)
5th - i received a test pad with the tuition centre's name
6th - the classes have computers and projectors
7th - if i pay my monthly fees early with the presence of my student id, i'll get discount...i tot it wud be rm10 or rm15 discount...but to my utter disappointment...it is onli rm2...so...by bringin my card while payin..i get rm 2 discount
8th - before class ends, we were given paper..tat little piece of paper was for us to write the no of candies n a box...we have to guess...n if you win, i believe you will be given some sort of prize...

therefore...i have brought up my conclusion n i told my frens tat....

omega tuition centre = a shoppin mall

4th april - interview day
yeah...was practically freakin out the entire morning...woke up...ate...n wore my newly bought baju kurung...interview was at 10 am...so, i went at 9...reached at 9 sumthin...went n looked for my panel...found it...waited for the earlier session to end...while waitin...we had to give our documents to some officers to check...yeah..it was my turn to give my documents....n the lady officer said "wah, hari ini sangat cantik.." i was like wonderin y she said so...it's not like i've been seeing her everyday...neway...i said thank you in an awkward manner...

10 o'clock came...we were given no tags to wear...then we brought in to the room...yes...it is we...i entered in a group of 7...n guess wat no i got?? i was no 4...gosh....dahla tat day was 'qing ming' day...i had to receive tat number...neway, i went in...yeah...our interviewers was 2 malay ladies...rather young...they looked nice...

then interview started...we were required to introduced ourselves in bm...then, it was discussion...the topic was..."do you agree tat the home plays a more influencial role than the school in cultivating good values in a child?" n most of us agreed...then, the discussion changed to bm...the interviews said that "jikalau ibu bapa adalah bertanggungjawab terhadap anak-anaknya...perlukah kerajaan mengenakan hukuman terhadap mereka? " n everybody said no...except ME...so, i had to defend myself thruout the entire discussion...pity me...

after tat, i went out with hsin n gang...not much to talk about...felt so left out...yeah...din realli feel comfortable...they asked me to go for the next movie...but i rejected them...i chose to follow my parents out for dinner...neway, it was a good choice...i ate yummy yummy food...hehe...

today - weekend
i did nth much...woke up...ate...watched tv...laid around...look at the argosy...found a potential lookin junior of mine...haha...KIM...yeah...i believe she can do great things...saw her name with the number of medals she has...saw her pic...in achievements n societies...yup...got potential...haha...then, received the khazanah phone call...n now, here i am...onlinin

njttjo zpv mfs...j mpwf zpv...nvbwww

life...

2008-04-01T22:02:00.003+08:00

okee dokee now...updates for the past few days...

27th march - 4th day of exposure

went to the mortuary...saw 2 dead bodies...pitiful tho...they had no identity when they were found...cause they didn't bring their ic...so...their relatives aren't informed...the smell was...undescribable...if you wanna noe...go experience it urself...

28th march - last day of exposure and 'grease'

yeah...last day in the hospital...din do much tho...just heard a forensic talk...and then went back home...yeah...later that night...i went n watched 'grease' with kim, sei mun n my younger sis...ok la...not bad...before that, we had dinner with kim's parents...aku disoal siasat...haha...luckily i'm not a guy...haha...if not it'll be like some test...yeah...ate before the play...after the play...ate again...ate supper...yup...was introduced to a big bowl of ice and fruits...cold...yet yummy...my whole mouth felt numb after eatin...haha...even my tongue...after that, went to sei mun's house with kim...we had a sleepover...hehe...fun...din realli sleep...was practically buggin each other...haha....talked and giggled...played cards...imagine 3 girls in a bed...hahaha....kim...dun think horny stuff ah...hahaha...but all in all...a great experience...1st sleepover...it was seriously onil sleepover...hardly spend much time in the mornin playin...or the night before...we onli slept...haha...

29th march - mgs sports day

woke up early...thanks to kim...haha...sent kim to school...we also went to school...hehe...then it started...saw little kim marchin...hahaha...an unforgettable sight...farny...then....saw all the maskots...interestin maskots...crabs?? turtles?? pirates?? fighters?? hmmm....they shud hv themes next year...let's say bugs...cavell - ladybug, crosby - beetle, nightingale - some yellow bug, victoria - grasshopper...then we'll have a buggy sports day...hehehe...neway, sports ended...went home...n rested...msged kiddy...she was on the way to johor...thinkin bout horny stuff...haha

30th march - ching ming (i've no idea how to spell it)

it's the day whr you visit ur ancestors grave...clean it up...gv some offerin...yeah...i went with my dad...had to wake up at 5 am...yawn...slept the entire journey...picked up my aunt...then reached the first grave...had to walk a long way in...walk walk walk..thankfully, the sun wasn't that glarin and sunny...time for 2nd grave...the sun was killin...dad made me hold the umbrella the entire time...yeah...i was the shade provider...whoever who stands by me shall be given shade...haha...later, went to taipin for lunch...n then straight home...

31st march - certifyin day

went to school...brought my entire stack of certs to be certified...yeah...then went n helped the debaters...crapped with them...argued...discussed...went home...ate lunch...then it was tuition time...yeah...had a lot of new students...then sir went n talk a little crap...once again announcin tat i am his 'grandstudent'...then he start estimatin whether he will be able to teach my kid...gosh..started sayin if i married early...at the age of 25...n then he started calculatin...n he came to a conclusion sayin that he will be bones by that time...yeah...

1st april - april's fool day

went to school to help out the debaters...talked more...argued more...me so cham...had to face 3 speakers at 1 time...sob...me alone...yeah...then go see little kiddy...notti fella...then saw kidyd's face on the board...she realli makes me damn proud ler...haha...yeah...a great girl with great potential...she just need to have some faith...i do have faith in her...she just has to have some in herself...yeah...took my jpa online test thingy...n now i'm here...haha

nz bepsbcmf pof...njttjo zb mpbet...nvbyyy

an O&G day...

2008-03-26T21:43:00.002+08:00

wat is O&G??? O represents obstetric while G represents gynaecology...so today was an O&G day...

today was the 3rd day of the program...my group was supposed to go to the O&G department n the surgical ward but eventually...we just went to the O&G department...it was located at the old hospital...had to walk...n with those black formal shoes...u hv no idea how much i dreaded walkin...

neway, reached the O&G buildin...yeah...wanted to see babies...n we did get to see a few new born babies with their mother comin out from the operation teather...so cute ler...went to other wards...saw mothers breastfeedin...then we also went n see how the labour room was...cudn't get to see the delivery process...coz we weren't allow...so, we cud onli see babies n mothers...

after lunch, we had to go listen to a talk from an O&G specialist...yeah...more babies n women stuff...she explained the diff between obstetrik n gynae...then she asked some questions...e.g.

"what is the ideal sex life?" ans : 3 times a week
"what is the ideal no of kids one shud hv?" ans : 5 kids
"how many years shud you wait to hv the next kid?" ans : 2 years

n a lot more la...neway...hv been climbin up n down the stairs so many times...altho there is the presence of lifts...thanks to hasy...after readin tat statement

"every flight of stairs you climb in the hospital, you will be able to burn calories equivalent to a plate of nasi lemak"

n with the flight of stairs i've been climbin these few days...i tink it will be equivalent to my entire week's meal...yeah rite...if onli i cud burn calories like tat...dahla my feet is cryin out in pain...i hv to climb my way up n down the stairs in every buildin...poor me

neway, tat's all for today...

ljeez, evo qmbz jo uif sbjo bi...opuuj gfmmb...qmt tnjmf l...nvbyyy

rather interestin day...

2008-03-25T21:37:00.004+08:00

ok...today, the program started 8.30am...so i went at 8...first stop for the day....A&E...tat stands for accident n emergency...yeah...it was divided into three categories...critical, semi critical n non critical...saw one old man in the critical ward...the doctors was tryin to help him breathe...

later, we went to the plastic surgery unit...saw all the 'pretty' pictures...before n after surgery...quite gross but interesting...talked to the nurse bout whr the skin will be taken from to implant...n they said from ur leg...or back...

then, went to the 'pusat sumber'...it had information bout diebetics n organ donation...let me enlighten you on organ donation

donatable parts of a human body :
-heart
-kidneys
-liver
-eye balls
-skin
-bones
-valves

n me, MS BEH had officially pledge to donate my organs to the needy...hehehe...ain't i kind?? yeah...i hv a laminated card to proof it...

ok...next, was neurosugical unit...this place was fun...met this realli funny n cool doctor...talked a lot of crap with us...givin us a more detailed picture of wat a doctor's life would be...yeah...his conclusion was...

doctor's life = no life at all(social)

but eventually, thr was still some good points on becomin a doctor...e.g how a doc can act help a dyin man to live...most of the doctors said tat feelin of savin a life is priceless...yup...then another neurosurgeon came and talked...all of the neurosurgeons claims to be a little off...joked so much...n thr was this realli horny joke...gosh...it goes like this :

younger doc : hey, all this gonna-be-medical-students want to experience life as a doctor, so i planned maybe they can follow a medical officer around...

older doctor : you sure? after they see some thing gruesome...

younger doctor : haha...they will start shakin at their knees and their balls will drops off...

the innocent kids like me : *gasp* gosh....*giggles*

older doctor : they don't have balls la (oh ya, for ur information, my group were all girls)

the innocent kids like me : *gasp louder* oh my gosh...this is so wrong...*giggles louder*

younger doctor : they will have some other balls....(or sumthin like tat..cudn't catch the words)

so...conclusion?

neurosurgeons : humorous, funny n weird but still...respectable...yeah...find them realli cool...

after tat, was lunch, then a talk...from a paeditrician...was a good talk...not bad...also laughed a little...

oh ya, another group saw sumthin interestin...they got to go some room...n guess wat process they saw??? they saw the process of insertin a tube into someone's p*n*s...yeah... they said he was an old man who's urinary tract got blocked...hmmm...gross or interestin??? i hv no idea...

overall, today was a rather interestin day...oh ya, another nice song...

Wherever You Will Go by The Calling

So lately, I've been wonderin
Who will be there to take my place
When I'm gone, you'll need love
To light the shadows on your face

If a great wave should fall
It would fall upon us all
And between the sand and stone
Could you make it on your own

[Chorus:]
If I could, then I would
I'll go wherever you will go
Way up high or down low
I'll go wherever you will go

And maybe, I'll find out
The way to make it back someday
To watch you, to guide you
Through the darkest of your days
If a great wave should fall
It would fall upon us all
Well I hope there's someone out there
Who can bring me back to you

[Chorus]

Runaway with my heart
Runaway with my hope
Runaway with my love
I know now, just quite how
My life and love might still go on
In your heart and your mind
I'll stay with you for all of time

[Chorus]

If I could turn back time
I'll go wherever you will go
If I could make you mine
I'll go wherever you will go

ijf xjmm tubml zpv xifsfwfs zpv xjmm hp...ifif...nvbyyy

exhausted...

2008-03-24T21:17:00.006+08:00

neway, not gonna type much...just gonna update my activities for the last few days...

22nd march - my birthday
had hightea with frens n family in excelsior, joked around, went home with frens n watched game plan...drank a can of shandy...went a little high...started blushin again...then played the marble game...then everybody went home....neway, thank you for spendin a day with me...realli nice of you ppl...esp kiddy, thank for alwiz becomin the entertainer...hahaha

23rd march - my sis birthday
woke up at 6 sumthin in the mornin...went to gopeng...took my colour blind test...got full marks for tat test...rather pathetic test...22 questions....yeah...after tat, went n listen to the 5 hours talk...it was seperated to 2 speakers...first speaker, talk facts but borin...2nd speaker, interestin n funny but talks a lot of crap...finished at 3 sumthin...reached home at 4 sumthin...din rest...watched tele...then got msg tat selection for jpa thing is out...went to check b4 leavin the house...n i found out i hv to go to the hospital at 9 am the next day...with trembling hands...i then went to parkson...ate at kenny's to celebrate my sis b'day...then started shoppin for clothes...shopped for formal wear...came home...onlined...then slept

24th march - 1st day of jpa exposure thing
woke up at 7 sumthin...wore a blouse with slacks n black shoes...looked like some office fella...went to the hospital...found whr other smart-ppl-who-wants-to be-a-doctor...gathered...met a few frens...then the talk started...had to introduce ourselves...our name, school, results, n y you wanna be a doctor...it took 2 hours...coz they were 75 ppl...later, heard some talk till lunch time...after lunch time, we started our walks around the hospital...went to all the therapy rooms...saw all the mchines n physiotherapy stuff...saw haemodialysis unit, some paliative ward, sterelizin room, n etc la...yeah...was supposed to finish at 4...but it ended at 5...went home... din rest...ate dinner...n now...i feel...exhausted...

ok, eventually, i typed a lot...neway, heard this song the other day in the radio...nice lyrics...

You'll Be In My Heart

It will be alright
Just take my hand
Hold it tight
I will protect you
From all around you
I will be here
Don't you cry

For one so small
You seem so strong
My arms will hold you
Keep you safe and warm
This bond between us
Can't be broken
I will be here
Don't you cry

'Cause you'll be in my heart
Yes, you'll be in my heart
From this day on
Now and forever more
You'll be in my heart
No matter what they say
You'll be here in my heart
Always

Why can't they understand
The way we feel
They just can't trust
What they can't explain
I know we're different
But, deep inside us
We're not that different at all

And you'll be in my heart
Yes, you'll be in my heart
From this day on
Now and forever more

Don't listen to them
'Cause what do they know
We need each other
To have, to hold
They'll see in time
I know

When destiny calls you
You must be strong
And then I'll be with you
But you got to hold on
They'll see in time
I know
We'll show them together

'Cause you'll be in my heart
Believe me, you'll be in my heart
I'll be there from this day on
Now and forever more

O, you'll be in my heart
(You'll be in my heart)
No matter what they say
(I'll be with you)
Be here in my heart
(I'll be there, always)
Always

I'll be with you
I'll be there for you always
Always and always
Just look over your shoulder
Just look over your shoulder
Just look over your shoulder
I'll be there always

ljeez, zpv'mm bmxja cf jo kjf't ifbsu l...kjf mpwft zpv...

my pre-b'day celebration...

2008-03-20T22:30:00.004+08:00

woke at 7 sumthin this morning...went to the stadium...played badminton...with kiddy, sei mun and kheinee...neway, among all of them...i was practically the worst...malunya...summore let kiddy bully...sedih...haha...neway, played for 2 hours...hand went tired...yeah, sumhow, i dunno how to hold the racket and articulate my wrist the rite way, so alwiz pain wan after playin...hahaha

neway, went to sei mun's house after tat...rather cosy...haha...watched a little of sweeny todd...then changed to stardust...after stardust, we went down for lunch - kfc...yeah...was rather full d...later, we watched wallace n gromit...the curse of the were rabbit...cute bunnies

then, their evil plan was revealed...sei mun brought me a piece of cake tat she bought from secret recipe...some chocolate cake...yeah...yummy...shared it with them...it was a rather large piece ler...then little kiddy took her stuff out...my pressie...hehe...it was a new teddy...so fluffy...i love it...

yeah, i juz wanna say thank you to sei mun for the cake...n thank you kiddy for the pressie...it was realli nice of them...simple...yet meaningful...realli appreciate it...my best peeps eh? hehe

kiddy, you dun realli hv to buy me a new teddy, the old one is juz fine...haha...neway, thanks a million...havin a fren n sister like you to lean on n cry on whenever i'm down is a priceless present...thanks ya

to sei mun n kiddy, luv ya ppl loads...hehe

I'LL BE THERE - WESTLIFE

You and I must make a pact
We must bring salvation back
Where there is love
I'll be there (I'll be there)

I'll reach out my hand to you
I'll have faith in all you do
Just call my name
And I'll be there (I'll be there)

Woah woah yeah

I'll be there to comfort you
I'll build my world and dreams around you
So glad that I found you
I'll be there with love that's strong
I'll be your strengthI'll keep holding on and on and on
Oh yes I will

Let me fill your heart with joy and laughter
Togetherness well that's all I'm after
Whenever you need me
I'll be there

I'll be there to protect you
With an unselfish love that respects you
Just call my name
And I'll be there

I'll be there to comfort you
I'll build my world and dreams around you
So glad that I found you
I'll be there with love that's strong

I'll be your strength
I'll keep holding on and on
Oh yeah

If you should ever find someone new
I know he'd better be good to you
Cos if he doesn't
Then I'll be there

Don't you know baby yeah,
I'll be there (I'll be there)
I'll be there (I'll be there)
Just call my name
And I'll be there

Oh yeah yeah yeah yeah

I'll be there baby
I'll be there
You know I'll be there (oh yeah)
Just call my name and I'll be there (Oh yeah, oh baby)
I'll be there (I'll be there)
I'll be there (I'll be there)
Just call my name
And I'll be there

i've alwiz loved this song...haha

ljeez, j'mm bmxja cf uifsf gps zpv l...uibolt...kjf mpwft zpv...

thanks ppl...

another day...

2008-03-18T22:03:00.003+08:00

yup, i went n see the choir competition...n once again, our school was defeated...our choir team could actually do a lot better...but i tink they freaked out...their notes were out in the first song...so obvious...n they were more obvious flaws...i expected tat results d tho...once i heard the choir at the competition...neway, cannot blame our school girls...other school hv trainers...our school hv none...n it was a very tough competition...n wat ticked us more was the the winner's attitude...after receiving their prize....the started congratulatin the other schools by shoutin out "congratulations, ...."...then they shouted "thank you, ...." gosh...it was undescribable...they were so....hmm...realli dunno wat to say...

neway, hv been applyin all the stuff...yeah...scholarships n stuff...been typin all the crap..or shall i say my simple co-curriculum vitae...then my mum hv been shootin me the question...askin me whether do i wan to take a-levels...if i do, i hv to pack my bag n leave the next day...then i met up with some seniors...asked them bout f6...they said it is manageable...then i asked bout the current results of stpm...n it isn't very good...my mum will then ask me another question...whether i wan to shift to sam tet to do my f6....sigh...this is frustratin

neway, felt realli bad...was thinkin...wat you said was rite...i hardly did nethin for you...maybe i'm not realli a good person after all...i wanted to stay...but i had told the others i'm goin...but eventually, to tink about it...i shud hv prioritize you...you were gonna run 200m...i shud have been thr to support you...like how you hv been thr to support me...so...juz wanna say sorry...

yup, tat's all for today...

the penang trip...

2008-03-17T21:58:00.003+08:00

yeah...went to penang on sunday...tat is yesterday...it was a one day trip tho...went with my cousins...the little ones...sob...i was practically the eldest kid thr...correction...i AM the eldest kid thr...feelin so old...neway, when we reached the beach, we laid down our mat...my cousin n my younger sister ran to the san n started playing...ppl like me...a little paiseh...dun wanna look so childish playing sand...and din wan to get my hands dirty...so, i took a can of mister potato and started walkin around the beach...n observing wat the kids are doin...n not to my surprise, they were diggin...they were act diggin a fort to collect water...

so, due to boredom...i started diggin...but...not with my hand...hehehe...pro ppl like me uses their feet to dig...so, i was holding the mister potato in one hand while the other takes a piece to munch on...and my large feet were diggin like dogs....yeah...and...with my skills...i built a fort around a square area in a very short time with my sister's help...it's quite nice tho...hehe...

after tat, due to more boredom...i juz din care bout the sand...i juz went and get my hands dirty...i started takin little cups and toys my cousins brought...one by one...i was buildin my city of sand...haha...then, the hardest task came...i had to build the main buildin...so, i grabbed a large square container n started stuffin and compressin sand in...then, i turned it over...banged the base...n removed the container...n to my disappointment, i tumbled down...so i did another time...n with my super hands, i managed to build a square building...

after tat, i challenged myself n my sister to see how many layers can we built on tat square building...so we tried the first layer...we succeeded to place one small cylinder...n then i tried to place another few more on tat square area...i onli succeeded to place three cylinders of sand...neway, sand time was over....so, we went and eat summore...ate all the junks...so gonna get fat...

then later, my cousin wanted to ride tat banana boat thingy...when i heard the word banana, it reminded me of tat conversation in johnny's....gosh...so gross...n horny...haha...went for tat ride...then it was lunch time...we packed up, n drove to gurney plaza...

thr, we had japanese food...after lunch, it was shoppin time...the kids followed the men to bookshops n toy store...while the ladies, tat means my mum n aunt includin me, went shoppin for clothes...i was juz thr to help choose the clothes...i have good taste...yeah, then my aunty n mum made me try on skirts n formal blouses...looked rather old...but eventually, bought one blouse...in case of interviews...

after shoppin, it was eatin time again...walked to gurney drive...the sun was scorchin hot..could realli feel the heat...neway, i ate...n ate...n ate...n i drank 3 cups of 'lo hon go' or also called as 'mata kucing'...imagine how hot the weather was...

when finished eatin , it was journey home d...aunt suggested tat we take a ferry...so we did...thank God i didn't vomit my meal out...yeah...slept like a pig the entire journey home...
at last, home sweet home...

ljeez, nf njttjo zpv cbemz mfs...tpc tpc...ofxbz, ublf dbsf l...kjf mpwft zpv...evo cf ipsoz bi...ifif

the 2nd outing...

2008-03-15T21:43:00.004+08:00

yeah...went out for another outing today...this time...in a bigger group...not realli big tho...juz 4 person...sei mun, hsin lin, kiddy n me...yeah...brought their toys along...a pink hippo for sei mun...n a lion for hsin...din realize tat the lion was flawed till today...when joe ee showed it to me...feelin so bad for buyin a spoilt product...neway...i din forget bout kiddy's share...yeah...bought her a tatty teddy...as a reward for her good results...yeah...i hope all of them like their gifts...

today's outing started with a movie...watched spiderwick chronicles...kiddy came late...so had to wait outside for her...hsin used tat opportunity n made me buy sweet corn for her...neway, kiddy came...n we went in...so pai seh...had to say "sorry" n "excuse me" all the way to the seat...the show began n we watched...n then somethin funny happened...hsin was so indulged in her sweet corn...she din realli pay attention to the screen...so when somethin exciting n unexpected happen...she practically said oh-oh so loud...hahaha....real funny la...we laughed n giggled after tat...

some pictures n characters of the show...

the main thing...

the main character-jared

jared, simon n their sister...

the book tat villians were after

some ugly villian

a hobglobin tat eats birds

movie ended...n it was lunch time..or shall we call it tea time...ate at johnny's...yup...steamboat...i realized i have many new experiences with frens this year...had lou sang with them durin cny...n now steamboat...yup...neway, i did the courtesy of orderin...yeah...food came...so we starter dumpin everything in...n then wait for it to boil...n somehow...when the temperature increases...i'll start to blush...haihz...my weakness...neway...yeah...we ate n ate...had fried rice too...then to end everything...we ate banana split...see kiddy...i said it correctly...yeah...durin this meal...all of them went realli high...n horny...i was practically the onli sane one there...hahaha...practically 1/2 their conversation was censored stuff...n the poor naif mind like mine was polluted today...

we finished our meal...n went for a walk...then sei mun had to leave d...we continued walkin till it was 5...n then it was left with kiddy n me...waited for my dad...kiddy bumped into her swimmin frens...n i slipped away...due to the awkwardness...n felt rather left out...hahaha...neway...dad came...n tat's the end of our outing

today's outing was rather fun la...

uibolt efbs...gps tqfoejoh bopuifs ebz xjui nf...kjf mpwft zpv...

the outing...

2008-03-13T21:56:00.003+08:00

went to jusco today...with wingy...onli 2 of us ni...coz others all cannot come...neway...went n watch the movie...'horton hears a who'...great movie...rather funny...n cute...it's about an elephant and a spec of dust...

we crapped a lot today tho...hehe...we chatted in the cinema...n on the way out from the cinema...neway, after movie, we went for lunch at sushi king...n miss wingy can actually eat a lot...my poor pocket...haha...no offence, ms wingy...jokin ni la...yeah...felt so full...n bloated...

after that, we took a walk or can we say a stroll...around jusco...went n buy present for ppl...played with a few soft toys...then left tat department...walked summore...then went n buy another present...for another person...we practically walked around the gift area the entire time

later, we went to the toys department...haha...was lookin at all the little toys...then we talked summore...walked summore...n then it was time for me to go home...it was fun to have wingy's company the entire day...so, wanna say thank you again...for the great day...i'm feelin a lot betta compared to yesterday...you definately cheered me up...

ljeez, j ibe b hsfbu ebz xjui zpv upebz...mpwf zpv

unexplained emotions...

2008-03-12T22:07:00.005+08:00

today was the day...got my results...dunno to say i'm happy or disappointed...i'm happy because i got all a's but disappointed because i missed straight a1s by 1 a2...n wat is tat a2 for?? it's for moral...i cud accept it if it was sejarah...but moral?!? the subject tat i scored the entire 2 years...the subject tat i had my hopes on...i cud not accept that i missed my straight a1s by an a2 for moral...haihz...my disappointment is unexplainable...as i type this...tears are wellin up in my eys...haihz...feel like cryin my heart out another time...but whenever i cry...my mum will shoot this legendary phrase, "you are the head prefect, dun make urself look so weak...it'll be a shame if you cry" i wud hv to hold my tears back...i cried in school...alone...in the pr...act sei mun was thr...but we were both juz disappointed...sometimes i dun und...y can't i cry? i'm still human...neway, i cried my heart out in the pr...then had to hide thr till my eyes looked less obvious that i cried...wingy msged me n called me tho...n i wanna thank her for her concern...

neway, i went to see some teachers...they all said my results were good...they all congratulated me...i had to smile for them...but deep down...i was cryin...i was so hurt n disappointed...i'm juz so close...so close to gettin somethin all my family members expected me to get...i'm now tearing again...

neway, went to my granma's house...grandpa asked for results...i said straight a's...then he asked all a1s?...n i had to answer...no...1 a2...you noe how bad it hurts me...i had to say i missed it by 1 a2

later, was home...parents start askin...who got straight a's?...then they will say...wah, they so good ah...how i hoped i cud be one of them...to be praised like that...then my parents looked thru the argosy...checked last year's straight a1's scorers...then they asked..."this fella get straight a1s meh? wah...not bad..."

then it hit me again...i could be on tat list...if i hadn't missed 1 a2...it seriously breaks my heart...i noe some other ppl's result is worse...they got all a1s n 1 b3...but...i dun wanna compare with them...i wanna compare with myself...my expectations...

i noe next year, when my cousin's results come out...my mum will start comparin...then my grandparents will be saying tat my cousins results are way better than mine...i just noe it will happen...it's been like that my entire life...i tot i cud prove to them tat i'm still good...after all the years i deteriorated a little...but sadly...my hopes are crushed...seriously...i dunno wat else to say...it realli hurts...it realli hurts a lot...

j opf zpv dbmmfe nf up cf ibqqz...cvu j evo ujol j dbo...tpssz o uibol zpv gps kva tubzjo cz nz tjef

freakin out...

2008-03-11T21:06:00.003+08:00

oh gosh...i dunno how to explain my feelings now...haihz...my heart is actually beating at a very fast rate...havin butterflies in my stomach...n my gastric is gettin worse...i'm seriously freakin out...all the thoughts...mostly negative...are flooding my mind...juz been thinkin about all the remarks given...my grandmother practically gave the remark that increased my guilt n tension...my mum told her tat results will be out on the 12th and all she said was..."aiya, dun nid to worry, ah ying's results sure very 'leng' wan"...haihz... i felt so flattered and scared at the same time...the first thing tat came to my mind was...wat if i din get the results everyone expected...wat am i to do?? whr am i to hide my face then?? oh gosh...the dilemma is haunting me all over again...

everybody keep saying tat my results will be fine...my confidence will build up a little...but then crushed by all my thoughts...i juz hv so many wat if's in my brain at the moment...i juz don't wan to disappoint anyone...i dare not imagine the look on my parents face if i got bad results...i dunno y...but somehow i grew up alwiz fearin that i will disappoint my parents...maybe it's because of my past...how i was brought up...i remembered everything...how my mum will keep bringin up the topic if i din reach their expectations...then she'll keep comparing...n practically everything i did in my school life was to achieve the head prefect post...i can imagine if i din get it...i'll be facing another nightmare...haihz...parents...they are all the same...

haihz...if i was to post all my current thoughts here...i think it'll take the whole night...neway...wonderin if i cud sleep tonight...dun even know whether my stomach can survive the night...all my thoughts for the results are just making my brain hurt...

neway, gonna keep my fingers crossed n hope for the best...haihz...

ljeez, iw gvo upnpsspx...evo xpssz...ephhz xjmm ublf pwfs nz qmbdf jg j'n hpof...ublf hppe dbsf pg zpvstfmg l...evo cf opuuj...o qspnjtf kjf up tnjmf...kva xboob tbz j mpwf zpv...o uibol zpv gps fwfszuijoh zpv'wf epof...o bmtp tpssz...tpssz gps bmm uif ujnft j nbef zpv dsz...tpssz gps bmm uijoht uibu ivsu zpv...tpssz gps cfjoh tvdi b xfblmjoh...tpssz gps opu cfjoh b hppe kjf...tpssz gps nboz uijoht uibu j'wf epof uibu xve iw nbef zpv tbe...j'n kvtu tpssz