another shattering blow....

i dunno wat luck i've been facing these few months...first it was the a2 in my results...

next was not having any scholarships...

and now, this...y can't i have at least one of the things i want...i tried...to be myself...to do my best...to aim for it...but it all just slipped away...just like that...i knew it was gonna happen...i prepared myself for the blow...i strengthen my heart...protected my soul...but then...it still cuts thru...it penetrated so deep...it felt like a knife piercing thru ur heart...leaving yet another scar...sigh...now all i can do...is juz to let it heal...again...

neway...my list of things have been completed...but eventually...i realize that ppl never see the good things you do...all they see are the flaws...the little little flaws hidden between each and every word...can't they understand tat i did everything...i sleep at 3 every night...for 2 weeks to finish it...yet...all they can see are the flaws...nvm...i shall live with it...

sigh...k la...nth much to say d...

burnt, paralysed and handicapped...

yeah...ltc is over...whole body achin...can hardly move around...walkin up and down the stairs is like climbing Bukit Kledang...haha...ok...maybe it's not tat bad...but it hurts...

neway...was doing my newsletter thing...i dunno y i'm taking the burden all to myself and not delegating it...i could make my life easier...a lot more easier...hmmm...maybe it's just me...dun realli have the trust to delegate the work...delegate or dun delegate...i still have to finish that newsletter...

my sister has left back to Moscow...kiddy is in Negeri Sembilan...sigh...everybody is far far away from me...missin them badly...

yeah...most of my frens are back from college for their hols...sadly...my schedule is so packed...can hardly find time to spend with them...and my homework is piling up...haihz...wat a holiday...lonely and busy...

neway...will be going for this literacy program tomorrow...have to tutor little kids...so...i've got to wake up early tomorrow...or is it today...wateva la...

oh ya...i bought myself a new purse for a very reasonable price...will show u ppl another day...

k la...me wanna tidur...still lacking of sleep thanks to LTC...

njttjo zpv...

drained...

yeah...my energy is seriously drained out of me...have been sleeping at 2 sumthin for the past few days...a hectic hectic week...sigh...stayin back till 5 everyday...plannin the stuff out...skipping lunch...i tink i'll seriously drop dead during LTC....

oh ya, LTC is tomorrow...actually, i'm not even looking forward for it...sigh...saddening...thrs juz so much crap to do...newsletter is also another problem that is making me lose another inch of my mind every minute...

neway, took some time off today and went and watch wall-e with my sisters and cousins...it was a good movie...realli inspiring...makes you see what will happen in the future if humans do not start to conserve mother nature...the storyline is also quite touching...altho it is just 2 robots...and the word capacity is so limited between the robots...but the love story is clear...it shows that behind every metallic exterior, there'll always be a place for love inside...the robots are cute...real cute...will talk more about this later...

feeling realli hungry now ler...sob...yeah...the week ahead will still be another hectic week...after LTC, got to go to Penang cause sis leaving back to Russia d...stayin in Penang for a week...next day, have to go for the literacy program...tutor standard 3 kids...after tat, GBP's LTC...not forgetting the newsletter...d

oh ya, my laugh have been stolen by the guys...sob...they stole my laugh...they stripped my laugh away...now i don't find the originality in my laugh anymore...my trademark has been taken...n it's spreading...they will juz start laughin at my face for no reason...haihz...

yeah...that's all for now...gtg continue my stuff...

my brain hurts...

juz finished my monthly paper...got back my maths paper...not bad la...but could actually do betta if i was careful enough...haihz...dumb me...

neway...havin a headache...have been studying for the past few days...i thought it'll be fun when test ends...but it's worse...now i'll have to finish and complete all my tasks...i was trying to download some fonts...but eventually...i didn't know how to use them...was trying over and over again...till i was so frustrated...haihz...

my group has been really testing my patience...n my family members ain't making it any easier...i think i'm gonna explode one day...my patience and stress is already compiled up to an unimaginable level...whoever who wants to trigger my anger...you are realli askin for trouble...

i seriously nid an outing...or time out...or anything...to calm myself down...realli feel like screaming at someone...was so close to screaming at my sister's face...but tahan...tahan...and guess wat...the more i tahan...the more my chest hurts...sigh...wateva la...have to survive...

i nid my laughing sessions and theraphies badly...and most of all...i nid a hug...a hug tat i'm deprived of for a long long time...sob...

ok...gtg watch my chinese drama series...