oh gosh...i dunno how to explain my feelings now...haihz...my heart is actually beating at a very fast rate...havin butterflies in my stomach...n my gastric is gettin worse...i'm seriously freakin out...all the thoughts...mostly negative...are flooding my mind...juz been thinkin about all the remarks given...my grandmother practically gave the remark that increased my guilt n tension...my mum told her tat results will be out on the 12th and all she said was..."aiya, dun nid to worry, ah ying's results sure very 'leng' wan"...haihz... i felt so flattered and scared at the same time...the first thing tat came to my mind was...wat if i din get the results everyone expected...wat am i to do?? whr am i to hide my face then?? oh gosh...the dilemma is haunting me all over again...
everybody keep saying tat my results will be fine...my confidence will build up a little...but then crushed by all my thoughts...i juz hv so many wat if's in my brain at the moment...i juz don't wan to disappoint anyone...i dare not imagine the look on my parents face if i got bad results...i dunno y...but somehow i grew up alwiz fearin that i will disappoint my parents...maybe it's because of my past...how i was brought up...i remembered everything...how my mum will keep bringin up the topic if i din reach their expectations...then she'll keep comparing...n practically everything i did in my school life was to achieve the head prefect post...i can imagine if i din get it...i'll be facing another nightmare...haihz...parents...they are all the same...
haihz...if i was to post all my current thoughts here...i think it'll take the whole night...neway...wonderin if i cud sleep tonight...dun even know whether my stomach can survive the night...all my thoughts for the results are just making my brain hurt...
neway, gonna keep my fingers crossed n hope for the best...haihz...
ljeez, iw gvo upnpsspx...evo xpssz...ephhz xjmm ublf pwfs nz qmbdf jg j'n hpof...ublf hppe dbsf pg zpvstfmg l...evo cf opuuj...o qspnjtf kjf up tnjmf...kva xboob tbz j mpwf zpv...o uibol zpv gps fwfszuijoh zpv'wf epof...o bmtp tpssz...tpssz gps bmm uif ujnft j nbef zpv dsz...tpssz gps bmm uijoht uibu ivsu zpv...tpssz gps cfjoh tvdi b xfblmjoh...tpssz gps opu cfjoh b hppe kjf...tpssz gps nboz uijoht uibu j'wf epof uibu xve iw nbef zpv tbe...j'n kvtu tpssz
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