today was the day...got my results...dunno to say i'm happy or disappointed...i'm happy because i got all a's but disappointed because i missed straight a1s by 1 a2...n wat is tat a2 for?? it's for moral...i cud accept it if it was sejarah...but moral?!? the subject tat i scored the entire 2 years...the subject tat i had my hopes on...i cud not accept that i missed my straight a1s by an a2 for moral...haihz...my disappointment is unexplainable...as i type this...tears are wellin up in my eys...haihz...feel like cryin my heart out another time...but whenever i cry...my mum will shoot this legendary phrase, "you are the head prefect, dun make urself look so weak...it'll be a shame if you cry" i wud hv to hold my tears back...i cried in school...alone...in the pr...act sei mun was thr...but we were both juz disappointed...sometimes i dun und...y can't i cry? i'm still human...neway, i cried my heart out in the pr...then had to hide thr till my eyes looked less obvious that i cried...wingy msged me n called me tho...n i wanna thank her for her concern...
neway, i went to see some teachers...they all said my results were good...they all congratulated me...i had to smile for them...but deep down...i was cryin...i was so hurt n disappointed...i'm juz so close...so close to gettin somethin all my family members expected me to get...i'm now tearing again...
neway, went to my granma's house...grandpa asked for results...i said straight a's...then he asked all a1s?...n i had to answer...no...1 a2...you noe how bad it hurts me...i had to say i missed it by 1 a2
later, was home...parents start askin...who got straight a's?...then they will say...wah, they so good ah...how i hoped i cud be one of them...to be praised like that...then my parents looked thru the argosy...checked last year's straight a1's scorers...then they asked..."this fella get straight a1s meh? wah...not bad..."
then it hit me again...i could be on tat list...if i hadn't missed 1 a2...it seriously breaks my heart...i noe some other ppl's result is worse...they got all a1s n 1 b3...but...i dun wanna compare with them...i wanna compare with myself...my expectations...
i noe next year, when my cousin's results come out...my mum will start comparin...then my grandparents will be saying tat my cousins results are way better than mine...i just noe it will happen...it's been like that my entire life...i tot i cud prove to them tat i'm still good...after all the years i deteriorated a little...but sadly...my hopes are crushed...seriously...i dunno wat else to say...it realli hurts...it realli hurts a lot...
j opf zpv dbmmfe nf up cf ibqqz...cvu j evo ujol j dbo...tpssz o uibol zpv gps kva tubzjo cz nz tjef
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